17 Things People With Chronic Illness Mean When They Say 'I'm Tired'
Everyone has said “I’m tired” at one point or another. But those deceptively simple words can have so many meanings. Without knowing the extent of the exhaustion someone with chronic illness is feeling when they say they’re tired, people may think your “tiredness” can be cured by a nap or early night, like theirs, not understanding the support you really need in that moment.
So we asked our Mighty community with chronic illness to reveal what they might actually mean when they say, “I’m tired.” It’s important for the people in your life to understand the challenges you’re dealing with and the empathy and kindness that can help you get through them.
Here’s what our community told us:
1. “Most people who are healthy don’t understand that ‘I’m tired’ is a very shortened phrase for us. When I actually admit to friends and family that I feel bad or am tired that means so much. That means I can no longer mask the symptoms I deal with on a daily basis and I need a little compassion to get through the next few hours or sometimes days.”
2. “When I say ‘I’m tired,’ I mean my body hurts to the point I can’t explain to a ‘normal’ person how bad it hurts. It means mentally, emotionally and physically I do not want to keep going. When I say ‘I’m tired’ I’m giving myself permission for a second to stop fighting my illness and to be vulnerable. When I say ‘I’m tired’ I’m trusting you enough to show you how I really feel before I get ready to get up and keep fighting again.”
3. “I don’t want to stop helping you, but I’m pretty sure I’m going to crumble if I do one more thing. So, just smile and nod as I go sit down and put my brace on.”
4. “Just sitting in a chair is exhausting. I just want to be able to melt into the floor because I don’t have the energy to hold myself up. I’m not sleepy, I’m exhausted!”
5. “When I say ‘I’m tired’ it means I don’t want to talk about it right now. It means I’m tired of the fight my body is constantly in against itself, I’m tired of being positive, I’m tired of pushing through the pain, I’m tired of never-ending procedures and continuous doctor appointments that tend to only discover new problems. I know everything will be OK and my faith will get me through this, but right now ‘I’m tired’ and don’t have the energy or the will to put that much effort in to finding the good in my situation.”
6. “‘I’m tired’ is code for: I’ve hit the exhaustion wall/power-off button; I don’t have the energy to explain the systemic overload my body and mind are experiencing; I need to be alone; I’m sorry I can’t do that for you right now, but I’m incapable of even doing that for myself.”
7. “Most of the time it actually means, ‘I know you mean well, but please give me some space. I’d like to be alone.’ Predominantly this is when I really am absolutely exhausted and have zero energy to consider those around me.”
8. “I’m mentally exhausted from having to keep it together on the surface at work, when what I really want to do is scream out loud with the pain. The majority of my day is spent ticking down the clock so I can go home and curl up and just be in pain out loud.”
9. “Half the time it means I don’t have any reason for feeling the way I do emotionally, mentally, or physically, but I feel I need to give one. The other half of the time it’s that I’m at my breaking point and there’s not enough rest or time away in the world to bring me out of it.”
10. “It’s usually my go-to response for pain, exhaustion, anxiety, everything. It’s easier than trying to explain something ‘normal’ people will never understand. Tiredness is something everyone can comprehend on some level.”
11. “I want, no need, to collapse right here. I’m in so much pain I want to cry, but it isn’t socially acceptable to do that. I can’t think straight enough to know my own name, let alone what I should be doing right now!”
12. “When I say I’m tired I mean I can’t keep smiling and acting as if nothing was happening. My whole day I try to show my best, I pretend to be the same person I was before the pain started. When I’m tired I cannot pretend anymore, I have to be who I am now.”
13. “I’m emotionally drained. But I don’t want to appear weak or go into details. Saying, ‘I’m just tired’ is simpler sometimes.”
14. “I say ‘I’m tired,’ but what I mean is I am fatigued beyond exhaustion, I can barely function, I feel like I haven’t slept in days, my body and mind ache for restful rest!”
15. “When I say I am tired, it means wherever I am could make a good place to lay down and hopefully sleep. The concrete floor over there? Yeah that looks like an amazing place.”
16. “I’m out of spoons. Of juice. Of battery. I physically cannot muster the energy needed to complete the task(s) being asked of me.”
17. “I’ll stare off into the brain fog and when someone notices, auto respond, ‘I’m just tired.’ It’s so much easier not to have to explain something you know they likely don’t understand. My being tired can’t be fixed. Take a nap, cured. If only it were that simple.”
Erin is the former senior editor and chronic illness editor of The Mighty. She joined The Mighty in 2015 and previously worked at Inside Weddings magazine, Mic, and The Huffington Post. She was also the features editor at The California Aggie, UC Davis' student newspaper. She is honored to be a part of the Mighty community!
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