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10 Bits of Humor I Find in My Chronic Lung Disease

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I look for the humor in my lung disease because I can get so bogged down from appointments, scans, medical terminology and blood work that I forget humor and laughter can act as a buffer against the stresses I face. I look for the humor because it lightens my mood and it adds a different perspective to my lung disease.

1. If “chronically ill” was a choice on a ballot of my current relationship status, I would totally check, highlight, star and box the heck out of the fact that I am not single or taken, but chronically ill.

2. My nightstand is my personal pharmacy. Alright, so this may not be funny or humorous, but I sort of find it ironic I have my prescription medication lined up in accordance to what time I take it during the day. I think all chronic illness patients can relate to this matter. Go spoonies!

3. I have the joints of an old man and I can predict the weather better than the weather man. I’m not saying the weather man lies, but I am saying people with chronic illnesses may have a better ability of determining when rain or snow or sun is actually going to happen.

4. When I develop chronic illnesses or symptoms, I get chronic illnesses or symptoms no one has heard of before. This makes other people tense, shift in their seats and look up preposterous ailments on the internet. I say I’m keeping my doctors on their feet and in the medical profession for a long period of time.

5. I’ve been told I’m “medically interesting” and a “rare case.” So rare, in fact, that only one in a million people have IPH (idiopathic pulmonary hemosiderosis). Like I said, I am just making sure there is job security for my doctors regarding the next 80 years. I just don’t want to have a condition named after me – that is not a route I want to go down.

6. I have extremely photogenic lungs. I have multiple CT scans to prove this. There are multiple things that do not belong in lungs like nodules, calcifications and cavities.

7. When you stay the night in the hospital, your night nurse will be your best friend. Do not be a crabapple towards them as they are dealing with other patients as well. “Please” and “thank you” are a must. Treat them like your grandmother. End of discussion.

8. If you stay in the hospital and order from the menu, order the popsicles and try to stay away from food that acts as a sponge and absorbs all the saliva in your mouth. And try not to mix up food. After my lung surgery, I had a brownie, cranberry juice and Fruit Loops. I did not mind it because I was on a lot of pain meds but I’m sure it would bother another person’s stomach. So just be cognizant of the food you eat.

9. I have entered “The Zone of the Prednisone” where my hands shake, I don’t sleep, I eat large amounts of cereal and popcorn and I browse Pinterest for hours on end.

10. Lastly, there is a part in Finding Nemo where Marlin and Dory are talking about good feelings and Marlin states, “Good feelings gone.” Well I want to put a chronic illness twist on this. I can roll out of bed and feel good and energized like the Energizer Bunny but then, poof! “Energy gone.” This is chronic illness.

And this is my humor I find in my disease.

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Thinkstock photo via gpointstudio.

Originally published: March 9, 2017
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