On the Days When Chronic Pain Makes Me Cry
When dealing with chronic pain I often go through peaks and valleys of how I’m feeling. Some days I’m very optimistic and hopeful for the future and other days I’m down in the dumps and depressed. I think most people who deal with chronic pain experience these range of emotions.
When I get on the low side of my emotions and I’m stuck in a rut I usually don’t cry. I generally blank out and stare into space. I contemplate what the hell I’m going to do until I’m able to pull myself out of it. The times I do end up crying I cry because I think about the future. I wonder if this will be my life forever? I wonder if pain will always follow me around or I’ll magically get better someday. Or maybe I’ll get worse… that’s when the tears start to flow. The fear of the unknown.
I have no idea what’s to come or if I will forever be in pain, but I do know this. I know that no matter what I will never give up. I will never succumb to my pain. While I may have down days or weeks or even months I will never lose hope and I will keep getting back up.
Even when there seems like no hope, I will stay cling to it, because I know that medical advances and research and new drugs are being developed all the time. I know that strong people are advocating and fighting to find cures and fighting for more research and that gives me hope.
So no matter what happens, I will never lose hope. Because one bad day doesn’t mean a bad life.
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Thinkstock photo by jesadaphorn
My name is Jessica. I’m a nurse. For as long as I can remember I’ve been passionate about helping others. I’ve always tried to understand put myself in my patients shoes, but I always knew I could never truly understand what they were going through. Other being a nurse I am also a frequent patient. I have epilepsy, anxiety, a rare compression syndrome called nutcracker syndrome, pelvic congestion syndrome, and pelvic floor dysfunction. I also have chronic pain that has yet to be diagnosed. While dealing with all these chronic illnesses is hard at times, it has made me a much better nurse and I am grateful for that.
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