To My Friend Walking Alone in the Darkness of Pain

Dear friend,

I feel you on those lonely nights.

The times when the all-consuming darkness cloaks you with its presence.

The times when the pain stabs and aches. The moments at 2:00 a.m. when you feel like you cannot last another minute of the agony. The times of tears and fear.

The times you stare at your phone for hours, questioning whether it’s OK to reach out for support yet again. Asking for prayer, telling them you’re struggling, that your illness, your darkness has yet again flared – seems an ever-recurring theme. Perhaps you are worried that they have had enough by now. That they are sick of you being sick. Perhaps the fear of real or perceived abandonment is at the forefront of your pain-stricken mind. Perhaps you feel guilty, inadequate – a burden on those around you.

Maybe the struggle feels relentless. Maybe right now you see no silver lining, no light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe you feel misunderstood. Like no one around you validates the struggling you are facing. Maybe others cannot grasp the extent of your pain. I feel you in your pit of darkness. I see you as you drown in a sea of pain and heavy emotion. I see your desperate longing for relief, for light, for hope.

I know that sometimes the struggle seems too tough to fight. Sometimes you feel like giving in – giving up on the doctor appointments, medications and endless battles just to stay strong.

I know that life feels exhausting, that you’re running on survival mode and you have no idea where you left that charger. I see. I hear. I know.

You aren’t alone. Even in the midst of darkness, pain and disappointment, there is hope.

Grab ahold of that lifeline keeping you afloat. Take hold of that faith, that belief that yes, there is light, a future, a reason to keep going.

Think of how far you have come already. The battles already fought and won. The dark nights you survived, and survived victoriously.

You are here now. You are worthy. You are alive.

That is reason to celebrate! I know you, like me, will be made stronger by your experience of struggling. That you are far stronger than you ever knew.

That you will surprise yourself at how far you can go. How far you will go.

Even in the midst of darkness, there is light. The darkness shall not overcome it.

You are so not alone.

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Thinkstock photo via francescoch.