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How I've Learned to Embrace All My Scars

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I always found it funny when I saw people so clearly looking at my scars and not being able to ask me about them. They would stare and then look away in the hope I hadn’t noticed them glancing at my chest. I could never understand why they couldn’t just be brave and come straight out and ask me. I’ve never had a problem with telling anybody about what I’ve gone through and why I have my scars.

For years, I could never figure out why people would shy away from asking me about my scars. They have always just been a part of who I am. I am never conscious of them in any way whatsoever. They aren’t painful or tingly or making me self-conscious. They’re just there, like a nose is just there, or lips or arms and legs. They’re part of my body and have been for 21 years. But I never saw it from the other person’s perspective — someone who may not have ever seen scars like mine before. Never seen something that looks so painful worn by someone who isn’t in pain. Not anymore, at least.

I am not a fan of how society expects perfection from people — mostly women. We are supposed to have smooth skin, stunning figures, long wavy hair and perfect smiles. But when someone comes along with something uncomfortable-looking on their bodies, we want to hide away and not think about it or ask questions at the thought of knowing what lies behind those wounds. I hate this. I absolutely hate this. Why must I be ashamed or feel ugly or not beautiful because I don’t have a traditional body?

I’ve been very lucky to have grown up with a family that embraces every scar I have. I could wear whatever I wanted, scars visible or scars invisible. I learned to embrace every scar. I never felt embarrassed or insecure about what I had gone through. I was raised to be proud of the war I had gone through and the scars I would bare. My mom especially empowered me to love them and what they represent and the history they hold. I have never shied away from people asking me questions about my battle scars.

To the parents reading this post with heart warriors of your own: teach them to love their scars. They have nothing to hide. What we as heart warriors have had to go through is astounding and amazing and we have fought long and hard to be able to wear our scars with pride.

Getty image by Perboge.

Originally published: April 10, 2018
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