10 Things I Wish My College Peers Knew About Chronic Illnesses

I will be entering my junior year of college this fall majoring in disability studies. I have been living with genetic and chronic illnesses my whole life, since I was diagnosed at birth with cystic fibrosis (CF), a life-long disease that mainly affects the lungs, pancreas and GI tract.

I’ve always been pretty accepting, for the most part, about living with genetic and chronic conditions. Growing up in a household filled with nothing but love and support, I was taught at a young age that this is “my normal,” but no one’s “normal” is exactly the same. Mine just involves more medical aspects than others’.

I’ll be honest and say that getting to college wasn’t exactly the easiest. In 10th grade, December of 2011, I was also diagnosed with gastroparesis, a chronic condition that paralyzes the digestive tract. As a result, I was absent for the most of my second half of tenth grade, and more than 75 percent of my 11th grade experience. At this point, I was worried about graduating high school, let alone getting accepted into the college I’ve wanted to attend since seventh grade.

It’d be a lie to say everyone at college has been accepting of my health conditions. Here are 10 things I wish my college peers knew about living with chronic illnesses while attending university:

1. I’m not faking it.

Just because I attend lectures and classes doesn’t mean I’m not feeling cruddy during them. Most, if not all, of my symptoms are invisible, meaning I can feel them without anyone being able to see them. One cannot see the nausea that plagues me every day or how tired my body feels from just walking to class after waking up early to do my breathing treatments.

2. I don’t use it to my advantage.

I’m not the kind of student who skips class or blame my health conditions on why I wasn’t present. If I truly did not come to class, chances are my symptoms were so bad, that physically getting out of bed and walking across campus was not an option.

3. Most of my “medical life” is behind the scenes.

Looking at me, one wouldn’t realize I deal with any medical complications. I don’t have a feeding tube, oxygen tank, IV in arm, wheelchair, etc. And for this reason, many people claim I’m “faking being sick.” Most of my medical life, with the exception of pills at meals and checking my blood sugar, happens in my dorm room. I do a lung and breathing treatment twice a day that takes about an hour. I also have my whole pharmacy of medications stocked in my room.

4. I don’t want attention or sympathy.

I’m open about my health and will answer any questions people ask me. Just because I’ll talk about my health from time to time, doesn’t mean I’m seeking attention or wanting sympathy. I’m talking about my life. Me talking about a doctor appointment and how it went can be compared to someone telling friends about how they visited their boyfriend over the weekend; it’s part of our lives.

5. Makeup doesn’t make me any healthier.

Complimenting me on my outfit or makeup doesn’t take away the fact that I still experience symptoms daily. If anything, I’ll wake up earlier to do my hair and makeup so I don’t look as sick as I feel. If I post a cute selfie, that doesn’t mean I feel better. I may have just felt OK in the moment.

6. I don’t cancel plans on purpose.

If I cancel plans to go out and eat or hang out last minute, it’s not because of you, and it’s not because I don’t want to hang out. Most of the time I push to meet friends at the dining hall and go out on weekends. If I cancel, chances are it’s because I need time to rest and regain energy from just getting through the day.

7. I don’t want your medical advice.

I appreciate and understand your concern for me and my wellbeing, but please know I don’t want advice. I have people left and right telling me how to “get healthier” and if I took a vitamin their aunt’s cousin’s nephew takes, I’d feel better. I have a team of wonderful doctors who actually know my conditions and my unique “health timeline.” Please leave the advice to the medical professionals.

8. Leave my health out of your gossip.

Please don’t talk about my health conditions to others. If you have a question about my health, talk to me before anyone else. I’m open to questions. At the end of the day, it’s hurtful to know people will gossip about a part of my life they have no understanding of whatsoever.

9. I love plans, but my symptoms don’t.

I always need a plan for the day. Unfortunately, my health doesn’t always accommodate to my schedule. One day I can be attending classes and hanging out with friends all night, and the next day I can be bed-ridden with nausea. Some things are out of my control.

10. I’m just like you.

Just because I have health conditions doesn’t mean it makes me any less of a college student. I love to go out with my friends on the weekend, I take advantage of study room opportunities at the library, and I sometimes procrastinate more than I should on a research paper. At the end of the day, I’m still an almost 2–year-old college student trying to balance out her life. I just happen to have medical complications to balance as well.

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