Today was the last goodbye to my Bella. She was cremated then. When we picked up her ashes, I told mum I’d like to start seeing a therapist.

I admitted to her that I am thinking of suicide, about my anger issues, that there were occasions where I hurt myself and that I’m not okay and have no idea how to get through it now that I’m alone without my dog that kept me above the water.

I tried to tell her for over an hour before finally having the courage to do so. But I’m genuinely too scared of having a dark moment without my dog to comfort me.

I tried to start therapy many times before but always backed out, so I figured that if she knew, she would help push me, I would actually do it.

She wants me to start as soon as possible and already sent me two links.

#Askingforhelp #Grief #deathofapet