Wellness Wednesday: When Asking For Help Fails
Wellness Wednesday: When Asking For Help Fails
I fell unimportant, like everybody else deserves good things, but I don't. I get stuck in my thinking quite often, particularly in this area. It just kind of pervades my life. I have to struggle throughout life; I can't experience love and safety; I have to let everyone else take whatever they want from me; I can't buy a new car; I'll never own my own home; having goals is pointless because I'll never get to fulfill any of them. I just don't matter. Other people are worth more than I am, so I can't ask for what I need and definitely shouldn't hope to get it even if I ask for it. But I did ask some safe people for some things I needed this week, and I got most of what I asked for. This conflicts with my beliefs and offers a glimmer of hope that maybe someday I will be as important as other people are. I'll no longer have to debase myself and can possibly find some happiness in life. #Selfworth #Askingforhelp #Hope
I asked for help
Today was the last goodbye to my Bella. She was cremated then. When we picked up her ashes, I told mum I’d like to start seeing a therapist.
I admitted to her that I am thinking of suicide, about my anger issues, that there were occasions where I hurt myself and that I’m not okay and have no idea how to get through it now that I’m alone without my dog that kept me above the water.
I tried to tell her for over an hour before finally having the courage to do so. But I’m genuinely too scared of having a dark moment without my dog to comfort me.
I tried to start therapy many times before but always backed out, so I figured that if she knew, she would help push me, I would actually do it.
She wants me to start as soon as possible and already sent me two links.
A lot of people in mental health have problems taking their medication. My problem is that I love taking my medication. With not distinction between the controlled or uncontrolled substances.
For almost half a year now, my pharmacy has been filling my medication into a lockbox. Which has been helping so much. I get my meds, correctly once a day. For $20 a month.
This month, they did not lock it properly. I could of just gone and told them. I should of. But no, I didn't do that.
I mean my first thought was, you don't need to do this and I meant it but I said to myself fuck you... and I have screwed myself.
I can no longer trust the pharmacy.
I just texted my best friend. I told him I messed up again tonight. He has known. I asked for help. I told him I would follow his rules unwavering.
We came up with a framework for a plan.
A 31 day medication planner, 30 minutes a day for me to talk to him about how I feel about sobriety (although it's not quite that, it's more like an OCD tick for any pill) but I suppose sobriety nonetheless and I thought I would start a journal about it. Also, we would get a lockbox, since I stay at his place so often. And the $20 a month, I would put aside. #medicationmanagement #Askingforhelp #Sobriety #Psychmeds #takingmeds #SubstanceRelatedDisorders #SubstanceUseDisorders #SubstanceAbuse #SubstanceMisuse
I typically go to this guy when I’m feeling really depressed or suicidal, but we are also really good friends in general. We haven’t talked a lot recently, but lately I’ve been getting pretty bad and I want to reach out to him, but it feels off and it feels like he’s being burdened with me and doesn’t want to help anymore. I don’t know if that’s true or not, because he’s a really genuine guy and has said I can come to him at anytime no matter what, but I feel hesitant to reach out because I feel like a burden to him and that he doesn’t want to help me as much anymore, which is fine if that’s the case but I’d rather him tell me. At the same time I also don’t want to ask that question because I feel embarrassed, guilty, and shameful in a way. Any advice on how to go about this, deal with this, or ways to get help in a place that’s not him? #help #Anxiety #suicidal #Depression #Askingforhelp #needadvice
Should I take time off of work to properly explore my mental health issues?
I don't have a diagnosis but I've known for well over a decade that something is "wrong". Whenever I feel bad enough to actually go to my doctors to seek help - which I always find hard to ask for - they always seem to be trying to rush me out of the door like they can't be bothered to deal with me because I don't know what the cause is. I think long and hard about what I need to tell them and inevitably don't get it out because I feel like they're not listening and are trying to speed through the appointment. I usually get told to go for more blood tests and end up with either iron or vitamin D tablets. Like a deficiency in my blood is making me believe I don't belong in this world and question whether I want to be alive? The tablets never help.
Things have gotten worse than ever this year. I think about dying a lot. And thoughts of suicide have finally started to creep in after dodging them for so long. I took a week or two off of work at the beginning of the year to try and deal with things. A couple of months later I found out that my long term, live-in boyfriend cheated on me while I was going through that, at my lowest point when I needed support the most. Since then everything has just been a rollercoaster. Not a fun one.
On top of everything else I have done a lot of research and have reason to believe I've been living with undiagnosed ADHD or something similar.
I need help. I want answers. I am tired of always feeling lost and confused. But I feel like with working full time I never have the time or energy to focus on myself properly. I'm scared to take time off of work because I don't know how I can afford to live, but I'm also scared to keep going to work because of these thoughts of not even wanting to live anyway that are never being dealt with.
Should I take time off to try and get a psychological analysis and explore what may be causing these feelings? Or will potentially putting myself in financial jeopardy only make things worse? Please let me know if you've dealt with something similar.
Doctor appointment Tuesday..
hi! I’m a newbie here :) I have a doctors appointment Tuesday.. And I am struggling with how to approach my doctor on the fact that I think I may have an eating disorder. Help!
I binge, sometimes purge. I’ve gained over 50 pounds in the last three years, and hate myself for it. I can feel my anxiety rising thinking about going to social functions, or having to be in front of crowds because I hate how I look and feel. I’m embarrassed, so I eat. Sad, so I eat. Bored, so I eat. Want to avoid any feelings, sure why not eat.
I know I am smart, but why can’t I figure this out?!?
I honestly don’t know how to bring it up to my doctor.
#BingeEatingDisorder #EatingDisorders #BingeEatingDisorder #Askingforhelp