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A Letter to My Depression

The most helpful emails in health
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I hate you for coming into my life and taking away far too many years.

I hate you for poisoning my mind during my teenage years.

I hate you for the opportunities I missed because you told me I wasn’t worth it.

I hate you for fighting against all of the medication, therapy and positive steps I’m taking to get rid of you.

I hate you for making me feel so worthless I don’t even trust people when they tell me they care.

I hate you for all the times I’ve had to sit in a therapist’s office crying because you made me feel like life isn’t worth living.

I hate you for making me fake a smile and lie to people around me because you told me they wouldn’t care if I told them the truth.

I really despise your existence in my life. One day, hopefully soon, I will be able to say, “goodbye” to you and you won’t be coming back.

However, it’s not all bad. I hate to admit it, but sometimes you’ve helped me. Sometimes you’ve been a solid foundation to build the skills I needed to become who I am today.

Thank you for making me entirely grateful for my family and friends. You told me they hated me but their behavior and kind words has shown me differently.

Thank you for making me realize the good days and appreciate every second of them.

Thank you for teaching me how to empathize with other people. Now I can understand people’s emotions and feel more comfortable helping them.

Thank you for making me realize I am strong when it comes to my emotions.

Thank you for making me aware of the people around me. You may tell me I’m not worthy of their time, but the fact that they’re still with me proves you wrong.

Thank you for being the constant reminder to why I keep going to therapy and taking my medication because I don’t want you in my life.

Thank you for showing me how to become a better person. I try to be kind towards other people because I don’t want them feeling as low as I do on a daily basis.

You may be hell to live with, but I’m getting stronger. You’re not welcome in my life anymore.

Originally published: February 22, 2016
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