Today I Cleaned My Kitchen. Here's Why That's a Big Deal.

Today, for the first time ever, I cleaned my kitchen. All of it.

I’m sharing this because I am so incredibly proud. You never realize how big of a rut you’re in until you start getting out of it. 

This semester at my college, I dropped my classes. All of them. This was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make. I love my education, and I have so much passion for what I do. But I hit a low point two months ago and something had to give. 

I hadn’t been properly cleaning my house. I hadn’t been keeping up with my hygiene. I overslept for everything and still never got enough sleep. I was doing everything all at once, but doing none of it well.

I wasn’t proud of anything. I hated the quality of my art and my studies. I dreaded coming home to a house that was an absolute mess. Every moment of my life was something I didn’t have the energy for. 

My final straw was when it began to hurt the people I love. My friendships were suffering. My academic relationships were suffering. I hurt the person I love the most.

I dropped into crisis mode. I knew something had to give. And finally, with the support of some very incredible people, I took a hiatus from my education.

The past two months have been so hard. I’ve been healing from some very deep wounds. Depression is one hell of an illness. But for the first time ever, I’m making progress.

There will be good days, like today, where I succeed beyond what I’ve ever been able to do. And there will be hard days, where I feel like I’m backsliding into the rut I was in before. But I’m not going to stop fighting. 

I’m cleaning my house. I’m taking showers. I’m repairing my relationships. But most importantly, I’m taking care of myself.

So yeah. Today, for the first time ever, I cleaned my kitchen. All of it. And I am so incredibly proud.