The Beautiful Things My Depression Says About Me
I care so much about other people and the world — so much so that I am deeply affected by news about others’ suffering, the destruction of our natural environments and even historical tragedies. If I didn’t grieve for all of these things at my very core, I might not be as depressed, but I also would not have such strong feelings about the things that matter to me. I don’t think I would trade this depth of feeling for a cure.
I can see beauty in desolate things. Because my mood is usually melancholy, I feel at home in places like burned-out forests, barren winter fields and lonely deserts. I can see how special these places are because they reflect my emotions, and not everyone gets to experience that unique kind of beauty.
I’m introspective and philosophical. Thinking often about heavy topics like death, healing, the nature of mental illness, and why I should keep on living reveal that I am attuned to my own values and beliefs, even if I often struggle with them. I’m always turning over the puzzle about myself in my head, examining every piece carefully.
I’m determined to understand the past. I really care about how the past has affected me, which means I want to learn from it. I’m not afraid to think about things in the past that were painful, even though this process is discomforting. This means I care more about truth than about being comfortable.
I can envision a better version of myself. Part of depression is wishing I were different than I am, which means I have a good idea of the type of person I value! It means that I really want to be a good person, and that is the first step to actually being a better person.
What beautiful things does your depression say about you?
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