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What It's Like to See the World Through 'Depression Goggles'

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It’s grey. It’s dreary, dark, apocalyptic. The world fades in and out with each breath.

When I’m wearing depression goggles, everything seems hopeless. The good things in the world are swallowed up by the bad — they don’t matter — the bad is so much bigger and darker.

The goggles are extraordinarily heavy. They weigh my whole body down. I’m so tired when I’m wearing them. It takes immense strength to get up in the morning, and each step I take is substantial.

The goggles tint everything around me. It’s hard to see the people in my life when I’m wearing them. People seem so far away, and are often hidden in shadows. My support seems so far away through the goggles.

The goggles can be comforting. They’re familiar, however heavy and painful. Sometimes I wear them for so long I can’t seem to remember what it’s like without them. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll recognize myself without them.

Some days, I can’t seem to take them off. Some days, I let myself be weighed down and sad and alone. Those days are my bad days, where I don’t leave my bed or barely make it through the day.

But other days, I find the strength to take them off. Without the goggles, the world is bright and warm. I feel the sun, I feel joy. The days without the goggles are rare but wonderful. On these days, I remember why I keep going, why I strive to take the goggles off. These days renew the hope I have that one day I’ll rid myself of these goggles and see how beautiful the world is, each and every day.

Unsplash photo via Tiko Giorgadze

Originally published: April 7, 2019
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