What 'Frozen' Can Teach Us About Supporting People With Mental Illness

I remember the first time I saw Disney’s “Frozen.” Elsa was the first character I really identified with. It was the only time I’ve watched a Disney movie and thought, “That’s me!” I felt like I was watching my own life unfold on the screen. This is a rarity, considering I have bipolar disorder and anxiety. The writers have spoken before of the representation of anxiety and depression in Elsa, and this is supported by the additional material in the Broadway musical — Elsa even briefly contemplates suicide in the song “Monster.” Gasp! Disney and suicide? Representation really does matter.

The only thing that was missing from my own life was the incredible love story between two sisters. I don’t have a sister, so I don’t know that special bond. It made me long for an Anna of my own.

Here’s how you can be that Anna:

Anna continually pursued Elsa, even through a closed door.

Anna was repeatedly shut out of Elsa’s life, literally and figuratively. She didn’t understand why, but she kept knocking on the door. Anna kept asking if Elsa wanted to build a snowman. What was the first thing Elsa did when she ran away? She built a snowman. Elsa wanted to be with Anna. She was just afraid and didn’t want to hurt her. She shut her out out of love.

After Elsa ran away, Anna immediately went after her. She knew she had to go after her sister and that she was the only one who could make it right. She was determined. She even tried to climb a mountain to get to her.

No matter what barriers and walls we may put up, keep coming after us. Keep inviting us to things, even if we flake out a lot. We may not always accept your invitation, but we don’t want you to stop inviting us. If I shut myself out, keep knocking on the door. Literally come after me. I will probably hate it in the moment, but I will remember it forever.

Anna didn’t judge.

Anna just didn’t understand why Elsa kept pushing her away and shutting her out, but when Elsa’s secret was revealed, Anna had compassion. Everyone else thought Elsa was a “monster,” but Anna fought for her and refuted it. In a culture of fear and stigma, Anna was not afraid. She saw past the labels. She saw a person — her sister.

Anna tried to understand.

Anna’s big plan was to talk to her sister. That’s all she wanted to do. That’s what she thought would fix everything. Now that she knew why the door was closed, she wanted to continue the conversation and solve the problem together. For the first time, Anna would be there for her in her time of need.

I can tell you that talking is not something I always want to do when you want to. But when I do feel like talking, listen. If you really want to learn how to help and what to do, talk to me and listen.

Just be there for me.

Anna makes sacrifices for her sister.

Elsa accidentally hurt Anna when they were kids. That’s why Elsa shut herself out. She didn’t want to hurt Anna again. Then Anna went after Elsa. Elsa accidentally hurt her again in the ice castle, this time freezing her heart. Anna was told that “an act of true love can thaw a frozen heart.” She assumes that this is a true love’s kiss. She knowingly gives up an opportunity for a kiss to protect her sister. She steps in front of a sword and literally sacrifices her life for Elsa. This is the true love. She laid down her life for her sister.

Sometimes I’m not in control of my actions. Sometimes emotions take over and I lash out at those closest to me. If you are close to me, I’ve probably hurt you unintentionally. It just comes with the territory. I know those who truly love me are the ones who keep coming after me, knowing that risk and willing to put themselves in harm’s way.

Anna never gave up on Elsa. She never abandoned her. In her time of need, Anna went after Elsa. Anna showed Elsa what true love was. And do you know what it meant to Elsa? It changed her entire outlook. She learned that she can be herself and learn to control it. She doesn’t have to hide it. “Conceal, don’t feel” no more. Love and support mean more than you know.

We weren’t made to do this alone. We all deserve a Princess Anna. Someone who puts us before herself. Who never gives up on us. Who never stops trying to reach us through the obstacles we put up. But we all need one.

Thank you to all of the Annas of the world.

Love, Elsa.