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Learning to Ignore the Lies Depression Tells You

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One of the many things depression does to you is lie.

It gives you lies, neatly gift wrapped in a box, tied up with a bow — presents which look so extravagant that it seems almost impossible to not open them. Naturally, you end up believing whatever is in those boxes because, well, depression made you believe and accept that it is your best friend, and you trust your best friend.

It doesn’t stop with just one; you get neatly wrapped boxes at your doorstep waiting to unleash the chaos in your head, every moment, every day. These might just be consolation presents — more lies to make you believe in the first lie it told you. You won’t be able to stop yourself. You will believe whatever it says and you will do whatever it makes you do. You won’t realize that you have fallen into its trap until after the damage has been done, until after you have ruined your relationships with everyone who love you.

But one day you will look back, and you won’t have a clue as to how you got here. It will take time, but slowly, you will stop believing everything that’s in the boxes. Slowly, you will gather enough strength to not open each and every box. And someday, you will leave the boxes unreceived, right at your doorstep. The boxes keep piling up because depression is stubborn. But one day, it will give up. It will fucking give up and the hundreds of boxes outside your doorstep, the thousands of thoughts in your head, will disappear. You won’t be scared to open your front door anymore, you don’t have to hold your breath and look away every time you walk past your porch. Inside the house, you don’t have to look for ways to divert yourself, every minute, every second.

Someday, it won’t be as difficult. Someday, it will all be OK. Someday, you will only listen to yourself, and not your depression. Only, don’t give up before it does. Tire it out. Let it fall to the ground and burn. And you will rise above the flames, only stronger and braver.

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Originally published: July 28, 2017
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