Know Before You Go: 7 Tips for Your First Therapy Appointment

So you’re seeing a therapist for the first time, aren’t you so excited?!

Just kidding. I remember the feeling. Even if you are a little excited (that’s normal too), it’s nerve-wracking. You’re about to go talk to a complete stranger about your deepest vulnerabilities, in a place you’ve never been and you don’t know what to expect.

I’m proud of you. That takes courage. The world has this funny idea that going to therapy is shameful and weak. That’s stigma. Pretty much every person ever could benefit from therapy. I think confronting the fact that you need help is the strongest thing ever. A lot of people will never do that.

Whether you’re considering therapy, have your first session scheduled, or you’re seeing someone new, here’s some tips, tricks and things you can expect when you go in to see a talk therapist:

1. There’s this stereotypical idea of a therapist and patient, where the therapist is sitting in a chair with a notepad and the patient is laid back on a couch. Well, every therapist I’ve met has a couch and you can sit on it however you’d like! I move around a lot, so in a single session you can catch me sitting, leaning and even laying. I actually like to wear clean socks and shoes that are easy to slip on and off because I like to sit with my feet on the couch but I don’t like putting my shoes on it. I’ve never met a therapist who was picky about how you sit.

2. First session will likely contain a little get to know you, and then some version of the question, “Why did you come to see me?” The floor is yours. Whether you are dealing with mental illness, a hard life event or you’re not really sure why you’re there but something just feels off your therapist is ready for you.

3. You get out what you put in. I know, cliché, but it’s true. You are in control. Your therapist cannot force you to say anything. It’s your choice to be honest and vulnerable and though it’s hard I’ve always found it to be worth it.

4. You won’t always feel great after a session. Sometimes it feels so good to get something off your chest, but often you may leave a session feeling worse than you did when you walked in. This is normal and it doesn’t mean therapy isn’t working. Talking about hard things can bring up negative feelings. Don’t give up. Sometimes it gets worse before it gets better.

5. Therapy is hard work. Though it may just seem like talking, talking about vulnerable things is really hard work. You will likely find yourself leaving sessions exhausted and may want to be careful about scheduling anything right after — especially if you know it will be a deep conversation day.

6. What to bring — there aren’t actually any requirements, but I like to bring a drawstring backpack with a few items:

• Bring a water bottle. You get thirsty while talking, plus it’s great to pause and drink a little water if you’re feeling anxious.
• Bring fidgets or something to keep your hands occupied. Every therapist has things you can use to keep your hands busy, but I like to bring my own as well. I like putty, little puzzle fidgets, and my favorite fidget was a little toy monster truck.
• A journal is always a good idea. I use my journal a lot in therapy. I’m better at writing my feelings than speaking them, so I will write throughout the week, then read from it during sessions. It can be a great tool for remembering what you want to discuss, and expressing yourself clearly.
• You could use a blanket just in case. If I know we are going to talk about something particularly hard that day, I like to bring in a small blanket for comfort.

7. If your therapist isn’t a good fit for you, you don’t have to stay with them. This is something I wish more people knew. All therapists are different, and not all of them are gonna work for you. It’s important to feel comfortable talking with them, that you feel like they are listening and responding in a way that is helpful to you. You don’t need permission to decide that the therapist you’re working with isn’t the one for you.

Whatever road you’re on, and wherever therapy takes you, I wish you the best of luck! You deserve every good thing.