The Mighty Logo

What I Need From My Loved One When I'm Having a Bad Day With Depression and Anxiety

The most helpful emails in health
Browse our free newsletters

Dear loved one,

I know you know I’m struggling. I’ve been struggling with these feelings for the past four years. On and off, undiagnosed. Over the last year, I’ve finally accepted it, and I’ve begun to deal with it. Yet, while I struggle day to day dealing with my issues, I forget that the people around me have to deal with it as well.

I understand that things are hard for you. My depression and anxiety challenge you daily. But in loving me, you’ve made a commitment to be there for me through the bad days — and on the worst days, there are a number of things I need from you.

Remind me that you love me.

On the darkest of days, I need the reminder that you still love me, that you still care and that no matter what, you will not let the sadness define me. I cannot love myself when I’m having a bad day, so I need you to love me twice as much as on the good days.

The depression tells me that I’m not worth it, that I am not good enough for you. I need you to tell me otherwise, even when I don’t believe it. Even on the worst days, when I’m blunt and angry and you might not know why you love me, just tell me anyway.

Don’t tell me it will be OK eventually, or that I need to think positive.

I know eventually it will all be OK. But on the bad days, that is the last thing I want to hear. Do not shrug off my issues or make them seem smaller than they are. This will make me feel like a burden.

Please don’t tell me to think positive. I know I need to change the way I think, but the anxiety makes me worry, and the depression bombards my mind with negative thoughts.

Let me talk — but don’t force me to talk if I don’t feel like it.

I will not always want to talk to you. But I need you to know I trust you, and because I trust you, I need you to be there in the times I do. I need to be able to tell you my fears. I need to be able to tell you when I can’t do it anymore, and I need to hear from you that I can do it.

On the days when I can’t talk, I need you to hold me tight, wipe away the tears and make me cups of tea.

And always remember that when it gets hard for you, I will always be here for you to talk as well.

When caring about me gets too much, just tell me. My biggest fear is being a burden on you. My biggest fear is you leaving me. So please, just tell me when the bad days get too much, and I’ll try to make it easier on you.

Don’t let me push you away.

I will try to push you away. Every time it gets bad again, every time the negative thoughts come flooding in and I don’t want to go on, I will try to push you away. But please, when I try to push you away, don’t let me. Hold me even tighter and remind me how much you love me.

Finally, I just want to thank you. Thank you for being there for me through thick and thin. Through all the ups and downs and through all the bad days. Thank you for sticking by me even when the darkness takes over, when the sadness gets too much and the anxiety makes my mind so fuzzy, I can’t think straight.

Thank you.


Image via Thinkstock Images

Originally published: August 22, 2016
Want more of The Mighty?
You can find even more stories on our Home page. There, you’ll also find thoughts and questions by our community.
Take Me Home