What is invisible and steals your joy? Depression. It simply sucks the life out of you. You can be surrounded with those you love. You know you love them, you know you love spending time with them, but you’re simply numb.
You can be surrounded with things you love, but you’re just there, struggling. You would rather be in bed asleep so you do’t have to deal with this misery.
No matter what’s going on, you are numb to it. There is no joy in anything. You fake happiness, sure. Others may not know the misery you’re in. You become an actor so no one knows the truth. How it would hurt those you love for them to know that numbness is the only thing you feel.
You know logically this is not the way things are, but logic has no place in depression. You can say honestly you know you are blessed to have those who love you and the life you lead, but it’s not what you feel. You feel empty inside. You don’t enjoy anything anymore.
It can come in waves. You may feel good for a while, but it comes back. You hold onto the thought that this too will pass. But it’s hard, so very hard to hold out hope. When you feel nothing but misery, it’s hard to tell yourself that you are loved. It’s hard to feel blessed. It’s just hard to feel.
You know you’re not alone, but that’s how you feel. Just don’t give up hope. You are loved! You will be healthy again some day. Don’t give up.
If you or someone you know needs help, visit our suicide prevention resources page.
If you need support right now, call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.
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Photo by Goldfinch4ever
Cat is a Breast Cancer and Brain Aneurysm survivor she also suffers from fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, Metabolic Disorder, PTSD, Bipolar Depression, Anxiety, Scoliosis, Spinal Stenosis and a few other conditions. She had a life, a career and a clean house before her illnesses took hold. Now her life seems like it is no longer her own. She’s blessed to have her family and she thanks God that she does. She takes each day as it comes and does the best she can for them and for herself. Cat has recently become and advocate for Cannabis use. After so many recomendations she tried it and it truly has given her a bit of her life back.
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