The Scene From 'You're the Worst' I Relate to Most as Someone With Depression

Recently, I started watching the TV show, “You’re the Worst.” The show is listed as a comedy series dealing with two main characters: Gretchen and Jimmy. Both of them have different opinions on relationships. Gretchen doesn’t believe they are her thing while Jimmy thinks all relationships are doomed the moment they begin.

Later on in the series, they start to gain feelings for each other even though they had these thoughts about relationships failing from the beginning. There is just one thing that Gretchen never told Jimmy. She has depression. She went on in the relationship trying to hide these feelings from Jimmy, fearful that if he found out, he would leave her. Most of us can relate to her in this aspect because we sometimes don’t want to tell the people closest to us we have a problem. We don’t want to seem like a bother or make them feel as if they need to stay with us.

As the show progresses, viewers are given a peek into what Gretchen goes through daily with her depression. At one point she drank until she had a mental breakdown in front of people. Her drinking showed she didn’t know how to talk to those around her. This portrays a similar image for many who want to speak up, but find it difficult. Eventually she was finally able to admit her depression to Jimmy after this whole situation because he was really worried about her drinking habits. The scene that resonated most with me was when Gretchen was lying on the bench in the living room. She didn’t talk to anyone nor was she sleeping. She simply lay there as multiple people came in and out of her house, trying to help get her out of this “funk.”

After multiple people trying and failing to make her feel better, Jimmy opens the door for the last person to leave and turns around to see Gretchen standing there. He praises her for being able to stand on her own without assistance. Then he says the one thing most of us want to hear from a partner or friend. “I don’t understand. Can you explain it to me?”

This hit me. Hard. She goes on to tell him, “I’m scraped out. I’m… that car we sent to Mars, flipped upside down so the sun can’t reach my solar panels. I’ve always been able to flip myself back over eventually but… I ran out of times. This is how I am now.”

This was me. Depression isn’t just feeling sadness all the time. It’s when you start to feel absolutely nothing even when you want to feel something. You just feel completely “scraped out” as if nothing could fill up that space even if you tried. I’ll admit I sometimes just lay on my couch staring at the ceiling for hours on end because I don’t know what to do. I could go on my phone or do something, but I just don’t have the energy to because it’s not going to help me. Watching this show made me believe in the media’s portrayal of mental illness for once. They didn’t romanticize it or sugarcoat it. It showed the true feelings that someone with depression can have because it’s not in our control.

Along the way, it gave me hope that maybe we can all find our Jimmy. Someone who is willing to ask us to tell them all our problems. The good and bad without us fearing they will leave us for telling them. Just remember, you’re not the worst. You’re truly the best.

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Photo via “You’re the Worst” Facebook page