Why Dating Has Been Challenging as a Woman With a Disability
Dating has always been a challenging part of my life, mainly because of all of the misconceptions guys seem to have about my medical condition. I have spastic cerebral palsy and use a wheelchair, which has led me to have some unusual experiences in the dating world.
Cerebral palsy may make some everyday tasks difficult for me, but I do not allow it to stop me from living my dreams. I’m a college student working towards a degree in English literature. I have dreams and desires. And like any typical 23-year-old, I date.
Dating with cerebral palsy can be a huge challenge. One of the biggest misconceptions guys my age seem to have is that if you date a person with a disability, you automatically become that person’s caregiver. They assume they have to take responsibility for me, when the reality is that I’m a strong, independent woman who just happens to use a wheelchair.
All I want is a significant other who will love me unconditionally and see past my disability. I dream of simply enjoying my time with someone without them treating me like I’m fragile or “too much.”
I strongly believe that the reason why dating is so hard for people with disabilities is that society objectifies and misunderstands us. People tend to label people like me instead of seeing us for all that we are. They believe we will never amount to anything because of our physical needs. This makes it harder for me to step out of my comfort zone and open up to guys I’m into, because I’m always afraid they’ll see me as a diagnosis instead of a person.
Fortunately, my dating story has a happy ending. A few months ago, I met a young man who has the same condition as I do. We developed a deep connection and recently started dating. I love that we understand each others’ needs and don’t pay attention to the social stigma against people with disabilities. Still, I hope we can end misconceptions about disabilities so that other people like me can find their “happily ever afters.”
Getty image by Tatyana Stulbo.
Tylia L. Flores is a twenty-eight-year-old born with Spastic Cerebral Palsy. Despite her condition that affects her mobility, she does not allow it to affect her will and determination to make a difference in the world. Through her many life challenges and obstacles, she discovered her passion for writing. Tylia’s goal in life is to share her stories with the world. In doing so, she hopes to help others with disabilities realize that they, too, have the potential to make their dreams come true. Tylia is not only an author. She’s a radio show personality and a disability activist. Tylia has written about disability-related topics for Yahoo Life, Your Tango, The Mighty, ReadUnwritten.com, Words Between Coasts Project, Wednesday, Spilwords, and Goble Thrive. Worth Living Among her other appearances are Disability on the Spectrum and Why I was Afraid of Sexuality. Previously, Tylia was nominated to Diversabilities list of the most influential Disability Impacts of 2022. Additionally, Tylia holds the position of chairman in the creative director role for the North American Association Of Cerebral Palsy Advocates. She serves as a mentor for the Disability EmpowHer Network as well. Tylia also works for Write It Up Publishing as a sensitivity reader focusing on disability representation. Tylia has also been involved in many movie press releases for Samuel Goldwyn Films Come as you are Piece of me which was the short film directed and written by award winning filmmaker Bruna Cabral as well as the film adaptation of the book Calvin can’t fly by Jenifer Burnes Tylia is also a keynote speaker at 2020’s Cerebral Palsy Awareness conference. She has also been a guest speaker at Northeastern State University Broken Arrow where she talks to college students about disability and inclusion in education. She has also been a guest speaker at Plantation Middle School, where she discussed inclusion and disability with classmates. Tylia is fully certified in Education for All: Disability, Diversity, and Inclusion through Cape Town University. She’s also certified in Understanding Diversity and Inclusion through Purdue University. She’s also certified in creative writing at the University of East Anglia. Tylia hosts the Stomping On cerebral Palsy radio show with DJ Ty on Asheville FM with DJ Mouse during the Come On In the Kitchen segment once a month she also helps the staff behind the scenes, help bring awareness to disability awareness and inclusion within the radio broadcasting industry .
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