5 Disability-Inclusive Sex Positions to Spice Up the Bedroom
Sex is for every body — as long as the person you are being intimate with is a consenting adult. People with disabilities account for 20 percent of the population, but aren’t represented nearly as much as they should be when it comes to advertising, media and even pornography. Representation is important because everyone is entitled to a healthy and fulfilling sex life.
“The biggest myth is that people with disabilities are asexual or cannot have sex,” Eva Sweeney, host of “Cripping Up Sex With Eva,” told The Mighty. “I think this myth stems from the infantilization of people with disabilities. While some people with disabilities are asexual, the majority want and have sex.”
Just like most things in life, sex too can be modified. Whether you have a disability, your partner does or both of you do, there are plenty of ways to get creative in the bedroom.
“Disability can affect sex but not in a bad way,” Sweeney said. “Different kinds of bodies might need to be more creative in the bedroom but this only spices things up and creates more conversation which is good for any relationship.”
Here are five poses Sweeney recommends for couples looking to spice things up in the bedroom — or any room, really.
1. Laying Down Side Straddle
When it comes to oral sex, Sweeney recommends having the person with a disability lie on their side and have their partner stimulate them orally from behind. “This position is great for people with spastic hips,” Sweeney added.
2. Modified Doggy-Style
Doggy-style is a fun position for couples looking to switch things up. If you need to sit and can’t be the one doing the thrusting, ask your partner to back themselves on to you, moving back and forth.
Sweeney recommends talking to your partner before getting started. “Ask questions, respectful questions, and listen to your partner,” she said. “Also, you might want to feel your partner’s body before you get into the sexy time so you have a better understanding of how your partner’s body works.”
Another oral sex position Sweeney recommends is “69.” “I would recommend 69, where one partner lays on his back and the other partner backs himself up on top,” she explained.
4. Modified Missionary
This modified missionary position is a great option if one person is able-bodied. Have the able-bodied partner stand at the bedside while the disabled partner lays at the edge of the bed. Add some pillows to the mix to help position yourself comfortably.
If it’s your first time with a new partner and a position requires you to move out of your wheelchair before you get into “sexy mode,” walk your partner through the transfer. Alternatively, Sweeney said, you can ask your aide to show them how to do the transfer.
5. Giving Oral Sex From Your Wheelchair
If you want to give oral sex from your wheelchair, ask your partner to lie on the edge of the bed and place the lower half of their body on your lap.
If you aren’t a fan of oral sex or want to explore your sexuality on your own, Sweeney recommends looking into toys. “There are so many toys to help you explore your sexuality,” she said. “Most people can find something that works for them.”
Illustrations for The Mighty by Jessica Oddi, co-creator of “The Disabled Life.”