To My Future Girlfriend, When She Sees My Wheelchair
Dating for me has never been difficult. I don’t go around looking for friends to be friends with a guy who uses a wheelchair; I look for hockey fans, beer drinkers, dedicated business owners, and other driven individuals.
The same goes when I’m looking for a mate. I don’t look for someone who “would be OK dating someone who uses a wheelchair.” I just assume if you’re friends with me, you know this is how I get around, and it doesn’t socially define who I am.
That’s who I see.
That’s who my ex from high school says she saw when I asked her before I started writing this, and that’s how I’m sure all of my friends see me.
They see someone who happens to be fighting for legal rights in Canada to make all stores and shops wheelchair accessible. They see a guy who will give up his hockey tickets and miss the game if you need someone to talk to. They see a dedicated friend.
So why shouldn’t you see me as someone who is “wheelchair bound” or “disabled?” Well, that’s just it. I’m not. I’m not what society has labeled me. I want to break down these labels, these negative stereotypes that have held people back for 20 years.
I consider myself “differently able.” I get around town on public transit, go for beers at my favorite watering hole, find ways to create access where there is none, and do what I can to make a difference in the life of a child. Society is so quick to stick labels on people, labeling them useless and saying they won’t be contributing to society… this is not true. You won’t find a guy more dedicated to making a change that will make a positive difference for so many people.
The next time a guy using a wheelchair starts hanging with you, don’t assume he won’t want anything more than friendship. Sure this might be the case, but just think about that person as a human being and treat them accordingly. Critique them the same as you would any other potential partner.
Are they cute? Funny? Driven? Do they have all the qualities you look for in someone? If you can answer yes to all of that, don’t be afraid to make the first move.
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Thinkstock photo by majivecka.