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10 Perfect Gifts for Moms of Kids With Disabilities

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I wonder how many mothers will wake up Sunday morning to breakfast in bed, homemade cards, hugs and kisses, and plans to eat out so they don’t have to cook. They will probably get a special gift, like a new appliance or jewelry.

As a mom to kids with disabilities, sometimes my life is a little different, and while I appreciate the “traditional” way of celebrating Mother’s Day, my family dynamics and on-going responsibilities makes me appreciate other types of gifts.

We reached out to our Mighty moms and asked them what their perfect gifts would be.

When it comes to gifts, I might appreciate one of these more than a new vacuum or a necklace:

1. Sleeping in.

Moms function with little sleep, but eventually kids grow up, and moms can get some more rest. However, for some moms, lack of sleep is a lifestyle. So on Mother’s Day, let Mom sleep in… for as long as she wants! Don’t wake her up with songs and cards and breakfast in bed. You can do all of that after she wakes up.

2. A date.

Marriage is hard work. And our lives tend to come with a few extra challenges. So while it sounds contradictory not to spend the day with the kids (you know, since it’s Mother’s Day) why not spend time with your partner — or a special someone in your life?

3. Time alone.

Time to read that book, take a nap, watch “Gilmore Girls” on Netflix. Just a time to rest and relax without parenting responsibilities. Perhaps you take the kids out for ice-cream while Mom stays home… alone!

4. Take-out.

Eating out on one of the busiest restaurant days of the year is not enjoyable for some of us, especially when you have kids with sensory or mobility issues. Order out. Mom gets to choose. Someone else feeds the kids!

5. A Spa Day.

Who doesn’t want to have a spa day? Moms tend to take care of everyone else’s needs, except their own. A spa day is the type of gift that forces you to slow down, get pampered and enjoy yourself. Want to include a hotel night? Even better.

6. Profesional Massage.

Raise your hand if you could use a massage right about now! For some parents who have kids with disabilities, the stress and the added physical involvement takes its toll on the body. I think of a massage and I can picture releasing the tension I carry in my shoulders and back. If you want to take it a step further, cover more than one session. If possible, book the appointment, too.

7. A clean house.

And let’s just make it clear that someone else is the one cleaning the house, not Mom.

Or gift magic! When I was little, my mom would make my bed without me noticing and say the “bed fairy” showed up to make the beds. The fact there is no “cleaning fairy” is more devastating than the idea that Santa is not real. This might be one of the best gifts you could give to a mom of a child with a disability. Between therapies, doctor’s appointments, fights with insurance that can take hours or days, never-ending paperwork and school issues, having someone clean your house is magical.

Our picks: Molly Maids gift card (starting at $100) and You’ve Got Maids gift card ($200 for four to five hours of cleaning).

8. A day off.

Life is busy, and there is so much to do and so little time. But what if we had permission to have a day for ourselves, with no responsibilities, just to do whatever we want to do? Everyone needs a break. As moms, we love our children, but being a parent is a 24/7 job. Having someone else take over for a day is a much welcome and needed gift.

9. Send her shopping without the kids.

Rather than buying a gift for mom, let her go buy her own gift. There is something wonderful about shopping at your own leisure without having to care for the kids. Let Mom take as long as she wants while she finds that “perfect gift.”

10. Let Mom set the agenda for the day.

Does Mom want to spend the day at the zoo with her family? Does she want to have a pajama day and stay home and watch movies all day? Rather than planning for Mom, have her be the one who sets the agenda, then you can make he plans and figure out logistics so she doesn’t have to.

I want to pause here and acknowledge the single moms raising kids with disabilities, because I recognize that doing anything for yourself is hard when you have to do it on your own, especially if you do not have family or friends who can step in. This is your day, too.

For all the moms of children with disabilities…

Happy Mother’s Day!

Originally published: May 8, 2018
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