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To the Parent Who Has Just Received a Down Syndrome Prenatal Diagnosis

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Oh sweet friend, first off all, congratulations!

I went public with my Instagram account to show “there is nothing down about it” and to shed light as I walk this journey. I am still learning myself, and will continue to do so with each new chapter. The emotions you may be struggling with are normal. You are human. I believe you are being blessed with a direction meant for you! As I believe God does not make mistakes. Please remember that.

It was at my 20-week ultrasound that we first discovered a heart issue with my daughter, Savannah. My biggest concern at the time was that they would accidentally tell me the sex, because we wanted it to be a surprise at birth. My then 11-year-old and 9-year-old were present during the ultrasound. The technician found an issue with Savannah’s heart and then said, “the child may have Down syndrome.” She wasn’t a doctor, nor was there a doctor present. The way she said it was not professional.

Then, I did have amnio to confirm.

I understand “what if” scenarios might haunt you. The unknowns can consume us. There was a period of time when I couldn’t even read anything about Down syndrome or look at photos of children with Down syndrome. Out of ignorance and a desperate heart, I prayed that God would “heal” Savannah.

I believed the negative scenarios given by medical professionals (simply being ignorant, not stupid ) about Down Syndrome. Not having disability representation in many advertisements can subconsciously make one believe a Down syndrome diagnosis is like a death sentence. How wrong is that!

​After several doctor’s appointments, I was convinced I was going to have Quasimodo from “Hunchback of Notre Dame.” Shame on the medical community for doing that to us and countless other moms!

​​Don’t feel guilty for any and every emotion you’re feeling. One day, I was so desperate to know what Savannah would look like, that I used this silly kids app “baby maker,” where you put a picture of you and the daddy to see what your app “baby” would look like. It was a low point to say the least.

Since I am a believer, God has opened my eyes to a way of seeing and thinking that is more like Christ. Our children are perfectly imperfect, just as we all are! I prayed and wanted Savannah to be beautiful (as conceded as that sounds). I believe all moms have this fantasy of motherhood and others oohing and awing over their newborn. That is normal, too!

I didn’t know anything about Down syndrome or knew anyone associated with Down syndrome. All I had was Web MD and Google.

Don’t listen to statistics!

Your precious child is and will be anything and everything he/ she wants to be! They will just achieve it in their timing, with your love and support.

You will have concerns and worries… but, guess what? You will with any child!

I’m a mom of three girls and I treat Savannah no differently than I have treated my older girls.

There will also be amazing physical therapists and others that help in accomplishing goals, if needed.

God will put in your path the most amazing, loving people because of this precious child. You will most likely look back on this blessing and wouldn’t want it any other way!

Remember, God makes no mistakes! Every decision, every choice, every occurrence or situation is for a purpose, guiding you and molding you into the amazing lady or gentleman you are, only getting wiser and stronger!

I wish I had not had an amnio. It just added to the stress. My advice would be if a blood tests show a positive result, just enjoy your pregnancy. Please don’t think of this diagnosis with gloom. Your beautiful child will smile and laugh. Your beautiful child will someday look at you and call you “Momma” or “Daddy.” Your beautiful child will cry and be comforted in your arms. Your beautiful child has a purpose!

Down syndrome is what our babies have not who they are.

There are Olympians and Emmy award winners who have an extra chromosome. The sky is the limit on our children, sweet friend!

Surround yourself with positive influences and stories of everyday, amazing families who are in this journey with you.

​Welcome to the “team.”

If you have any questions or just want to talk, I’m here.

Follow this journey on Lady Positive.

We want to hear your story. Become a Mighty contributor here.

Originally published: October 20, 2017
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