'Broken Cry': A Poem for the Days You've Reached Your Breaking Point With Chronic Illness
It was about 2 a.m., and like so many nights before, I was wide awake. I felt as if I was at my breaking point. As tears started to dampen my pillow, these words came flooding to my mind, and I wrote them down.
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Broken Cry
Heart is pounding, brain a mess
Anxiety coursing through my chest
Purple feet and pooling blood
Emotions crashing in a flood
Shooting pain of every kind
Depression weighing down my mind
Bending and I just might break
Migraine more than I can take
Then you come, a ray of light
Bursting through my darkest night
Saying, “I will take this fight,
I have heard your broken cry.”
Nausea, worry, aching pain
Insomnia, awake again
Never hungry but have to eat
Can’t I rest for just a beat?
Brain fog and I can’t think straight
Dreams hanging like fishing bait
Take a bite and find a hook
Drags me back to where I’ll cook
Then you come, a ray of light
Bursting through my darkest night
Saying, “I will take this fight,
I have heard your broken cry.”
Stomach sears, tears fall down
Sitting cold in a paper gown
Tests and blood to no avail
Don’t know why I’ve become so frail
A spectator as life passes by
Weaving yet another lie
People reach and I draw back
Remembering only the harsh attacks
Lying to everyone including me
Wishing they would just leave me be
True friends too few and far between
“I’m fine.” I assure adamantly.
But you still see my silent tears
Heartbreak buried under all the fears
“There’s a reason,” you whisper low
“And someday you will finally know.”
Then you come, a ray of light
Bursting through my darkest night
Saying, “I will take this fight,
I have heard your broken cry.”
Pain is hard and fear can numb
But I have purpose still yet to come
There are challenges but I will fight
And maybe end up being someone’s light.
And as I’m sure many are facing similar trials, I hope you can find a small amount of comfort in these words.
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I'm 16, and I have Ehlers Danlos Syndrome and Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome. I love dancing, singing, playing and listening to music, acting, photography, science, and spending time with my animals. That is, when my health is permitting. I hope to help everyone feel a little less alone in this mess.
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