#PTSD

*Possible trigger warning*

At nearly 50, I had zero desire to relive my childhood sexual, physical, or emotional abuse. I had tucked it away and appeared "normal" to people in my personal and professional world. Then I was triggered by a family member going through a manic episode and decided to call me...

Long story short, I ended up relocating to be near my dysfunctional-but-functional family as a mother with 2 boys. Sadly, mom was more than thrilled to start the rage, anger, cold-shoulder, passive-aggressive, hate-love hell I endured as a child and it was surreal watching her unravel in an effort to make me react - she was unsuccessful in that way but I imploded and my health is now horrible. I have dizzy spells, had a mini-stroke where I fell and broke my nose, and have a pocket of fluid built up above my left ear.

I didn't realize the evil that an abuser is capable of until I got some space, pulled every message and document, and stared at her intentional cruelty.

Today I am posting these pictures - we lived on 10 acres and mom limited our family so we really only saw her mother, my grandmother. But when we DID have to drive to town, mom's rage could only survive about 10 minutes. This is an old "weigh station" off the highway. She'd yell at us because we were expected to be silent in the car (even though we rarely went anywhere and it was exciting) and then she'd pull over to this weigh station, rip me out of the car, and beat me. Moving back to the area and driving past it made me wish I had enough $$$ to get permission and a contractor to blow that place up!! That way no other narcissistic abusive mom could get the same idea. I'd hope that people would call 911 if they EVER SAW this. My mom deserves to be in jail for what she's done/does. Maybe someday justice will be served on these "sweet appearing" grandmas?! I pray I see the day.#endabuse #enddomesticviolence #endnarcissisticcontrol