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I Will Never Be Sorry for Putting My Health First

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To those in my life,

I have begun to learn that having a chronic illness, I apologize more often than I should. I tend to walk around like a dog with my tail between my legs, embarrassed and scared that I have probably disappointed another person in my life, and stress the judgment that is about to take place.

The things I was once capable of following through with are no longer a guarantee. Therefore, for that, I am sorry.

 

I am sorry if I have lost touch with you and do not text you often.

I am sorry if my inability to work the hours you are looking for is frustrating. Imagine the frustration if I was there, sick and not working to my full ability.

I am sorry if my illness posts and blogs annoy you. However, that is how I cope and help others who are struggling like me.

I am sorry I do not RSVP or attend everything I am invited to. And if I did have plans to attend, I am sorry when it turns out I cannot.

I am sorry if I am not always the perfect wife. I try my hardest.

I am sorry I am not cured yet and that my illness may annoy, inconvenience or confuse you.

I am sorry if I am having a low pain day and you confuse it with me being all better.

I am sorry if we no longer have things in common.

I am sorry if I seem unreliable or disappointing to you.

I am sorry if I have days where I seem like I am mad at the world.

I am sorry for snapping at you on days my hormones are just out of control.

I am sorry I have a chronic illness.

photo of kimberli with the text 'sorry I'm not sorry'

What I am not sorry for is putting my health first. I am not sorry for taking a step back and making certain I am OK. This may mean hurting and disappointing those closest to me. My rest and my health have now become the most important part of my life. I will no longer allow myself to feel guilty for decisions I need to make about my health.

Sincerely,

Sorry I am not sorry

**Always remember to do what is best for you, even if it means disappointing someone in your life. You should never be sorry for taking care of yourself.

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Originally published: September 11, 2017
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