How I Coped When a Diagnosis Devastated My Modeling Career

Since being diagnosed with functional neurological disorder (FND) in June 2022, my life has changed dramatically. But when I was first told what was going on with me, I had never even heard of FND.

I am a well known, professional, published curve model based in Southport, Merseyside. I have been walking runway for designers on some of the UK’s most influential Fashion Weeks. Four years ago I started living my dream of representing diversity within the world of fashion as well as running my own business as a full time, award-nominated makeup artist, and traveling the UK to work as an extra in prime time TV shows. My life was so full, with four beautiful children, my dream jobs, a beautiful home, and supportive friends.

Life as a single mum juggling my work was stressful at times, sure, but ultimately I was proud of setting an example to my children not only of a strong work ethic, but also that it’s possible to make a living doing what makes your heart sing. I was successful and happy

The day it happened started like any other, I did the school run one Monday afternoon, went food shopping with the kids…

Suddenly I became paralyzed from the waist down!

I was terrified, but I tried to play it cool to my children who finished putting the shopping away whilst I called 111 the NHS medical advice line to see what I should do. They immediately identified that this was a serious situation and sent me an ambulance to rush me into A and E at Southport hospital. There was no waiting around, I was seen immediately and the tests began. The staff were absolutely marvelous and covered all bases with blood tests, urine tests, bladder tests, and constant observations. I had to be admitted for further tests and two inpatient MRI scans to rule out any serious back injury. The tests kept coming back normal, which was reassuring but very confusing too.

I needed assistance with absolutely everything on the ward. I couldn’t move the lower half of my body at all; my legs were like a dead weight. Following the results of my MRI scan, the consultant neurologist came to see me and the physiotherapist too, after some more examinations, they determined that I had been experiencing functional neurological disorder.

I had never heard of this before! My brain had become so overloaded with things that it could no longer function properly and the signals communicating with my legs just weren’t getting through properly. I had to have intensive physiotherapy to learn to walk again. I would make some progress then my legs just kept collapsing from under me. It was so frightening, but I persisted and after a week of being hospitalized, I made enough progress to be discharged with walking aids and adaptations in my home.

I was so relieved and happy to be back home with my children, but my entire life had been turned upside down. I have carers three times a day. My legs can collapse at any time, and I have also developed uncontrollable tremors which affect my entire body, and stuttering speech too. I have to remain as positive as I can for my children, which is keeping me focused.

I am proud to share that I have been invited to represent diversity in fashion at London fashion week in September 2023! I will be walking with aids, wearing a bespoke, designed, curve outfit by the amazing celebrity fashion designer Kingfisher Couture. I couldn’t think of a more incredible opportunity to promote representation in the fashion industry and I feel so proud to be invited. I have also been asked to collaborate with this award winning designer, on a whole curve couture range! So I am using my bed bound days to sketch out creations for women who want to be bold and beautiful and take up space in the world! My designs are flattering to any shape and size, with a feminine, but edgy theme.

I also took place in the Ms Curvaceous UK semi final photoshoot, in Londons infamous Leake Street Arches! This was an urban chic style shoot, catwalk, and interview. I utilized my wheelchair and my walking stick during the shoot and I was in my absolute element! I have also been invited back to York fashion week for a casting, which is so exciting as I know YFW love to promote diversity.

The future is still bright for me. I will not let this disability define me; my ambition and strength of mind has never mattered more. And although I am still adjusting to this diagnosis, I know that nothing will keep me down. I just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other and show my children what a positive mental attitude can really do!

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Ahead of functional neurological disorder awareness day UK, on Saturday March 25th, I want to share my story.