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Repeat..
Sometimes I have a train of thought and it leads me down a rabbit hole of other thoughts that don’t connect at all. But then I get stuck on one thing and it plays in my head like someone pressed “Repeat” on a song. It’s not even a song. It could be a phrase or a word or even rereading a text a million times that I sent hours ago.
The thing is, it makes me so angry and frustrated. I feel like a broken record when I get stuck on something and say it over and over and over again in my head as if someone were whispering it into my ear from a distance. I know I’m not the only one, but I feel a little crazy when it happens. I tell myself it’s not normal and try to think about something else.
But then something just replaces that phrase like a picture in my head or another phrase. It makes me want to tear my hair out sometimes. It makes me want to self harm like I used to just to let it escape through my open wounds so it’ll stop bothering and pestering me.
I get so lost in my head it’s terrifying. I get stuck in there like I’m in a dark cave with no light and no way back to the exit. No going back. No return. I just wish it would stop so I can have a moment a silence. But inside my head is never a moment of silence. There’s. Always. Something. Happening. #BipolarDisorder #Repeat #Getoutofmyhead
