Grief is like a cup of coffee. In the beginning, it’s painful to hold and difficult to grasp. No matter how you carry it, it spills everywhere leaving a sloppy stained mess for all to see. Some days, it’s bitter and leaves an acidic feeling in your stomach. No matter how hard you try, on those days, it is impossible to sweeten.
As time passes, you mostly learn to carry it so it’s less likely to spill. But there are moments when it sits beading over the brim, very capable of pouring over at any second. You know those days. When that happens, you shift your grasp and hold on tight. Hopefully you manage to stop the spill. But not always.
Sometimes people watch and you can feel them thinking,“Why can’t you balance that. Why is it still spilling out?” If they only knew how many days you’ve managed to carry it and not let it cascade.
Maybe we shouldn’t try so hard to contain it. Breathe it in. Hold it the way we feel most comfortable. Walk with it at our own pace and if it should spill, let it. Maybe an understanding hand will reach out and help us clean it up.
This piece originally appeared on the GoodGrief App blog.
Photo by Emre Gencer on Unsplash