I’m so mad at the world right now and everything in it and especially myself. I feel like this is going to be the g.d. 35th hospitalization or something, because it is. But it will only be the first time that I get inpatient help for the actual problem. So how many more times is it going to take? All I have ever wanted is a shot at life. I have fought for every step I’ve taken. I feel like since I relapsed it’s been the first stage of just giving up. And that makes me feel like the biggest loser.