Suicidal Ideation

I've been having suicidal ideation but both my therapist and psychiatrist have said it's passive and I'm not a risk. I suffer from chronic suicidal ideation. But it's just not going away and is taking up a lot of time and energy today in particular. I'm not sure what to do. #SuicidalIdeation #SuicidalThoughts

i lost my mother to suicide. and now, i turned orphan by a living father

he is still alive FUCKKKKK, but he has walked away from us by choice. he cut all contact and no longer wants to know anything about my brother or me

i never imagined i would have to grieve someone who is still alive, and this person are my father, unbelievable

life has taken so much from me that sometimes i don’t even know how to process it anymore

i feel like i've had to grieve things most people never have to think about in their lifes

the hardest part is knowing that this wasn’t taken from us by fate, illness, or death, or well... a suicide

IT WAS A DECISION

sometimes i feel angry. sometimes i feel heartbroken. sometimes i feel nothing at all

i keep wondering if we deserve this, even though deep down i know children are not responsible for their parents choices

losing my mother was devastating.

losing my father while he is still alive is a different kind of pain—ONE THAT HAS NO FUNERAL, NO GOODBYE, AND NO CLOSURE

my brother and i are left trying to make sense of a loss that nobody seems to understand

we are learning how to survive without the people who were supposed to love us unconditionally

i don’t know what to feel anymore. i am grieving, confused, angry, hurt, and exhausted all at once

some days i feel abandoned. other days i feel forgotten

most days i just miss having a family..,,:.;;()))%)$

other thing that hurt most is realizing that someone can be alive, and still choose to become a stranger

my life is a fucking sadism of some god, thats it

#Loneliness #Father #Suicide #suicidelossurvivors #suicideloss #Depression #mother #passivesuicidalideation #SuicidalIdeation #personalitydisorder #Suicide #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Anxiety #heartbreak #Depression #MentalHealth #Grief #Addiction #