suicidal ideation

I hate being numb all the time. Life just seems like it is passing by and I barely feel anything other than anxiety and sadness. Everything seems grey. No colour. No excitement. It's like I live with headphones. I basically stop hearing and stop processing what's going around me. Especially when I'm with other people or when I'm driving. I keep on forgetting things and zoning out. I think Ive been emotionally dead for so long that I don't even know what living is. I'm broken. I'm trapped in my head and I don't know how to get out. People call me quiet but they have no idea. This has been going on for so long that I just feel like failed in life. I know other people would only wish to be alive (ex.physically sick people)and I'm here not wanting anything to do with life and I'm just wasting it. Letting it apss by. #Depression #SuicidalThoughts #SuicidalIdeation #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Dissociation #numb #sad

Please tell me the difference between letting go and giving up #SuicidalIdeation #SuicidalThoughts

The dark thoughts are appearing more frequently these days. Don’t see a future anymore. Don’t see people to fight for anymore. Don’t see a reason to stay anymore #SuicidalIdeation #SuicidalThoughts

#SuicidalIdeation

I don't want to do this anymore
#ChronicDepression #SuicidalIdeation #MentalHealth

Looking for parents who may be going through a similar situation with their teen.

*Trigger Warning *
I lost a acquaintance of mine but a friend to many of my friends this week.
She sadly completed suicide.
My heart breaks for all who knew her.
She was a Christian, I still struggle with all that means. I Pray she is at Peace with Jesus.
My thoughts and emotions are all over the place. Still fighting the good fight every day.
If you are reading this YOU ARE LOVED AND YOU MATTER.
#MentalHealth #SuicidalIdeation #ChronicDepression

Anyone else struggling with overspending as a form of self-harm? I've gone through too much on myself or too much going outward to people.

Really trying to find a balance as I know that individual health also depends on community health, intertwined. Hard to try and live that out while still seeking my own stability and joy sometimes.

The depression has been getting worse. Suicidal ideation coming up (not at point of action or planning though *clarification). Therapist is helping to guide me through. Starting the ssri route and with a med manager now. The struggle to find energy.

Depression feeling like a heavy metal cake pan lid over my heart. Pressing down, suffocating the outward flow of love. Weighing down on my shoulders. #Depression #Anxiety #Selfharm #SuicidalIdeation

I feel like I’m in a prison within my own mind. Today I want it to end. I want to end it myself. I want peace. I hate myself for dragging my loved ones through this treacherous journey. I want to rest. I need peace. They need peace. #Depression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #SuicidalIdeation