Just when you think your over him. The feelings just keep rushing back (like waves 🌊). I honestly know that I am better off without him. I would just give anything to have him back. Maybe, just maybe I was addicted to him. I mean with my obsessive calling and messaging him I can understand why. I don’t think I was asking a lot of him. I never wanted any material object from him. All I wanted was to feel loved and for him to spend some time with me. But, when he started seeing me once a week I kind of knew that something was up, like deep down I knew what was coming. It just sucks to have someone in the beginning want to spend the time and to do fun things with you. Like going to the movies for example. I had asked twice if we could go to the movies, and he just blew it off. It hasn’t even been a full month yet since he broke up with me and I’m clearly not over him yet. I’ve gone a couple days fine with it all, but it just came crashing back today. I know I need to give myself time to heal and to grieve. But it’s just so damn hard. I’m not myself anymore. In fact, I’ve barely left the house and I sadly can’t remember the last time I showered or have changed my clothes I just really want to be happy again. I constantly hate what I’m feeling. I just want someone who stays with me even after they see all of my flaws. I guess I’m time things will be okay. I have a wonderful support system who makes me believe that I do deserve better and as I’m slowly learning is that I really do. One of my best friend who’s a healthy support system, when I told her that I was still missing him and how I wanted him back. She replied back with “So you can be treated like you’re a bother? Or his child. Girl you deserve someone who wants to hangout with you, talk to you, loves you, cares for you and so on. You don’t deserve a boy who’s giving you 10% of himself. You deserve someone willing to give you 💯% to you for you guys.” That just really puts things into perspective for me. #Depression #Breakups #itwillgetbetter #deservebetter #iwontletitwin