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Why Mornings Can Be Tough for Those With Chronic Illness

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I wake up, staring at the coffee maker, counting the seconds, watching the never-ending drops. I pull out my pills. 10 to be exact for today since my doctor has put me back on a steroid regimen. I double, triple check to make sure I don’t take too much or too little (triggering my OCD that has developed since my chronic pain). I get my coffee, take my pills, grab my ottoman to put my feet up, my heating pad for whatever is ailing me today and I wait patiently till the pain finally subsides.

Stepping back to before lupus developed and took over, mornings were my favorite. It was always “my” time. I always enjoyed waking with an ultra-sweet coffee and my alone time to scroll through social media and take in the morning sun. Lately, I have been having a harder time enjoying it though. From waking up stiff and a little creaky to having to amp up myself to actually sit up and go to the bathroom. I now just lay in bed staring at the ceiling, telling myself the pain will eventually go away.

I have eventually acquired more pillows, an actual pillow top for my bed and have tried muscle relaxers to loosen my body for a better sleep, but it never seems to help. Hopefully one day, those of us with chronic pain will get some relief. But for now, we just sit and wait for that coffee to brew, and take our pills.

Thinkstock photo via Halfpoint.

Originally published: August 9, 2017
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