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What Helps Mandi, 45, With Lupus

Editor's Note

Any medical information included is based on a personal experience. For questions or concerns regarding health, please consult a doctor or medical professional.

With our ongoing “What Helps Me” series, The Mighty is leaning into what sets us apart from other health sites: We aim to provide real health advice from real people who live it.

In this spirit, we asked our community for the best insights and tips they’ve developed for managing their conditions. As always, they responded with their unique health stories and we are happy to pass along their well-tested resources to you.

Responses have been lightly edited for clarity.

Today, we meet Mighty member Mandi. She is 45 years old and lives with lupus.

Mandi, what helps you?

THE MIGHTY: What helps you most when your condition affects your physical health?

MANDI: Nothing really helps — I can only wait it out. Well-balanced meals, rest, and being around understanding people who can do the things I am unable to (if they can) can be beneficial to me.

What helps you most when your condition affects your mental health?

Telling myself “just one more step” helps me. I say, “just one more piece of clothing to put in the dryer,” or “just one more fork to wash.” Keeping a “just one more” attitude — instead of looking at the whole of a task I face helps because looking at each item and taking care of each individual thing can sometimes feel easier. They’re all small wins.

How do you cope when your normal self-care isn’t working?

I do not feel that I cope. I feel that I am more or less at the will of an incurable disease. I was not given the choice of whether or not to have lupus. I am forced to accept it, and there is no “normal” anything anymore. Coping is an attempt to overcome difficulties, but I do not cope with this incurable disease — I am forced to incorporate it into my life.

Thank you to Mandi for her contributions to our community. Did you find this helpful? Add your gratitude in the comments.

If you want to tell us what helps you, you can complete our survey here.

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