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The Fleeting Moments of Light in Life With Depression

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I know there’s a force within me that lures me toward the light, and yet there is a competing force that would keep me bound to darkness.

When I am choosing to be in a state of fear, uncertainty or self-doubt, I am allowing the darkness to remain present.

In order to get out of this fearful state, I need to ask the Universe to dissolve these unnecessary fears and then trust that the darkness will fall away.

It’s hard to tell sometimes when I am in a deep depression or if I am in a state of fear due to my own negative perception of what is happening in my life.

I understand that fear is a choice we make, but I also understand that depression is not a choice.

I judge myself harshly when a depressive state comes on because I feel as though I must have some choice, and then I fear I am manifesting dark things my way. Everywhere you read “what you think becomes your reality” — and that can’t be so with the disease of depression.

All I can do is try my best to walk through the dark abyss, the self-limiting beliefs that are haunting my mind and keeping me from living my life to the fullest.

I want to live in the sunlight of the spirit every single day, and I know that is not possible.

When one needs to fight the thoughts in their minds on a daily basis just to keep going and showing up in the world, it’s easy to become tired and weary and filled with fear.

When darkness falls I must always keep my thoughts on the light that I know is there even if I can’t see it at the moment.

The moments in the light are fleeting, wonderful and beautiful and yet don’t last long enough.

My prayer is one day I may experience more of life in those moments than in the fearful state of darkness that seems to follow me like a dark cloud.

I am blessed because I know light. I am blessed because I know the darkness fades. I keep the Faith that all will be OK no matter what my mind tries to make me think.

Image via Thinkstock.

Originally published: October 26, 2016
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