When I Couldn't Pretend Any Longer I Was the 'Perfect' Mom
I — like I imagine other moms — want everyone to think I have it together. I want others to think my house runs like a well oiled machine, homeschooling is easy, I am super mom to a child with a disability and a perfect wife.
I post pictures that angle out the mess in my living room. I wipe faces and brush hair for “candid” shots. I’ve even been guilty of setting up a “candid” shot.
And then it hit me, people think I’m this perfect example of “momming.” People didn’t see the depression and caregiver burn-out coming because, well, everything seemed “perfect.”
It wasn’t — and it isn’t.
When I had an emotional break down due to lack of self-care, people seemed shocked. Some even didn’t believe me. I was hurting and I created it myself. No longer! I am the real me in real life and social media.
I am a mismatched clothes, mom bun, messy house, wild kids mom. It is the biggest relief to allow myself permission to be me. I have allowed myself permission to show my real life. And you know what? People have responded positively. Friends have opened up to me about their personal struggles. I have bonded with other mothers because they see themselves in my reality. We don’t try to out “Pinterest mom” each other. We are real, raw and perfectly imperfect.
I am a wife, mother and photographer. I have 2 wonderful boys that I always wished for. I spent 6 years going through many fertility treatments and suffered many losses in the process. We finally became pregnant with our son James. He was born 2 months early due to an in utero stroke. His brain bleed cause his cerebral palsy and set our family on a different path than we ever expected. I have become a stronger woman, mother and advocate for my son. Life for us isn’t always easy but I wouldn’t change what I have learned to love. My second son has his on special story as well. We had come to the terms that one child was going to complete our family. In 2014 we got message asking if someone could give our contact info to a young mother looking for a family for her unborn baby. We said yes, and that set a whirlwind of adoption planning. We learned that he was only 4 weeks from his due date. It was exciting and stressful at the same time. He was the best surprise we had ever gotten. ( Even born on my birthday ????) I homeschool both boys and we try to live life that is balanced. Living with a child that has multiple physical and mental disabilities can be stressful. It can also be the most rewarding experience. I try to be an open book so that other mothers don’t feel like they are going it alone. I love to share our ups and downs.
maryellen-pollard