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12 Helpful Tips for Couples Counseling

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Are you and your significant other thinking about starting couples counseling? People consider or attend couples counseling for a variety of reasons. In order to achieve the best results, there are some things to consider prior to attending counseling. Here are 12 tips that may help put you and your partner on the right track.

1. Start early.

Admitting you have a problem early on will provide the best chance of you finding a solution. It can ensure that issues don’t linger underneath the surface for years, eating away at your relationship.

2. Commit.

You need to make sure you are committing to the counseling to ensure you get the best results. Counseling is not a one-session-fixes-all solution. Instead, you need to be prepared for this becoming a part of your life and schedule.

3. Do the homework.

Your therapist might provide you with homework to complete in your own time. For instance, they may suggest that you schedule a time for intimacy. It’s important that you don’t shy away from this.

4. Don’t try to change your partner.

Couples counseling isn’t about forcing your partner to change. It’s about understanding who they are and seeing their point of view. Attempting to force change will lead to tension and friction, simply causing more problems.

5. Go all in.

You need to make sure you are completely focused on getting results from counseling. If you choose to sit at the sidelines and let your partner do all the work, you are not going to gain the benefits you need.

6. Trust your counselor.

Once you start counseling, it’s important for you to trust the counselor who is working to help you. Do not make the mistake of thinking they are your enemy. They will always want the best for you and your relationship.

7. Be open.

For counseling to work, you need to be ready to open up about how you feel. This can be one of the most difficult factors for couples counseling because it will leave you vulnerable. However, it is certainly worth it for the results.

8. Focus on the positive.

Counseling will ensure you are able to address the issues in your relationship and find the solutions. But, it’s far more vital that you also focus on the positive aspects, too. You need to work to find the things you love.

9. Think about goals and objectives.

You need to make sure you know what you want to achieve. Do you want to save the relationship? What types of changes do you want to see, and what do you want the future to look like?

10. Always focus on the next step.

When thinking about your goals, you should always make sure that you are looking towards your next step. This should relate to your larger objective and help you build towards the type of relationship you want in the long term.

11. Focus on your health.

Couples counseling can be a stressful experience at first. If you are feeling overwhelmed, it’s important to focus on yourself and make sure that you are looking after your well-being. Don’t neglect your health during this time.

12. Ask the difficult questions.

Finally, you need to make sure that you are asking the difficult questions. You may be unsure you want the answer to these questions, but being honest with yourself and your partner is the only way you will be able to move forward.

These are a few tips to consider with your partner before attending couples counseling. Preparing yourself ahead of time and knowing what to expect before you arrive can give you an advantage and help ensure the best possible outcome for success.

Getty image via KatarzynaBialasiewicz.

Originally published: October 29, 2019
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