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Mental Health 'Thirst Traps' That Make Dating That Much Healthier

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Thirst trap


  1. A piece of content posted on social media in hopes of attracting suitors into your direct messages (DMs). 

Ah, how I love a good thirst trap. Posting them, responding to them, planning them, you name it. It’s one of the only fun parts of dating (granted I’m a libra who craves attention so any amount of peacocking makes my heart happy). Flaunting and strutting your stuff is the best when it comes to the cat and mouse game, but that’s not what seals the deal.

That’s proper mental health awareness and wellness practices and routines.

You know what I’m talking about – going to therapy, great communication skills, validation, etc., 

Given that it feels like mental health has become a bit more mainstream, more people are pursuing wellness for themselves in the name of personal growth and it’s honestly sexy as hell. How many relationships have we been in where the person refuses to have any personal accountability, will utilize their trauma as an excuse versus a reason, and thus here we are getting gaslit in the name of love.

Yeah, bullshit.

I’m committed to my growth, and I refuse to ever commit to anyone else who isn’t when it comes to theirs. That’s where mental health thirst traps come into play. It’s when they say the right things, and then they mean what they say, and if they don’t know what they feel they seek professional help instead of projecting it on to you that genuinely makes shivers go down my spine. 

If you still aren’t familiar with some great mental health thirst traps, here are just a few as an example.

Proper conflict management = Let me introduce you to my parents real quick…

“I’m not in the best space to talk about this, can we revisit this another time?”

“I understand what I did that hurt you. While that wasn’t my intention, I am sorry that I did.”

“I’m a little upset at the moment, but I want you to know that I’m not leaving you, nor could I ever hate you. I just need some time to myself right now before I’m in a place to solve this. I love you.”

“Your feelings are 100% valid, and I’m sorry.”

Intentional support? Sorry, I thought you said “Will you marry me?”

“Good morning. Is there any way I can support you today?”

“I can tell you’re upset. What kind of support would help the most right now?”

“I had a rough day, here are the ways I could use your support.”

Did you mention your therapist? You do know I love Tiffany’s, right?

“I was working on my therapist with this…”

“My therapist helped me see where I went wrong in my past relationships.”

“I used to have this issue, but my therapist has helped me work through it.”

Nothing is more suave than self-reflection.

“As much as my ex had their flaws, I had my own part to play and here’s what it was…”

“This is one of my flaws as a human being and it’s something I’m actively working on by doing this…”

“I’m not proud of the person I used to be, but I’m happy I’m growing in to someone better.”

All that and emotional validation? See you at the courthouse.

“I know you’ve had to be ‘strong’ in the past, but you don’t have to be here. It’s OK to be upset.”

“You’re still a human being with emotions. Please treat yourself kindly.”

“You’re not being nice to the person I love.”

These are the mental health thirst traps that make me want to slide my wedding and dream ring pin board into their email, with a reminder that my ring size is four and a half. 

I’ll be honest –  a nice car and career is always nice, but the biggest and best turn on will always be self awareness and a commitment to personal growth, and that’s on Marvin Gaye.

Getty image by Willie B. Thomas

Originally published: June 24, 2022
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