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Why Do I Believe I’m Not Good Enough?


Everyone struggles with self-esteem, self-confidence, and feeling good about themselves. It’s just a matter of how often that is happening. As we grow up, we learn more about who we are. As children, we don’t know about the world, and it’s our parent’s job to teach us how to treat people, how to treat ourselves, and how to have compassion for others. One thing that I find is missing from the world is self-compassion.

Self Esteem

My friend struggles with self-esteem. She often engages in self-deprecating behavior. She says she isn’t good enough. She doesn’t think she is talented. She is a very successful journalist and writer. When I hear her talk about herself in a negative light, it makes me sad because I know how talented she is. I know this is her brain’s way of tricking her into believing that she doesn’t have worth. It doesn’t matter how many times as her friend I tell her she’s good enough — she needs to understand it herself. One of the best ways to improve your self-esteem is to work on loving yourself. Whether you do that by talking about it in therapy or by doing other things that make you feel good, it’s essential to love yourself.

Loving yourself takes time

It takes time to learn to love yourself. It isn’t something you can snap your fingers and accomplish. It takes patience and emotional insight. Many people don’t have the self-awareness to figure out what they don’t like about themselves, or if they do realize it, they don’t want to face what they don’t like about themselves. It’s because living in denial is sometimes more comfortable than confronting hard truths. However, people who can confront what it is they don’t want about their personality or their flaws — those are the individuals who are going to be well-rounded. They are going to succeed in life; they know their Achilles heels. So, once you’re aware of your flaws and your strengths, how do you start to love yourself?

Therapy and self-love

The answer is therapy. It’s one of the best ways to learn how to love yourself. You work with a mental health professional and find out what your problems are. It’s terrifying to face what doesn’t work. It’s scary to look at what could be “wrong with you,” but everybody has flaws. If you think you’re not good enough, welcome to the club. We all feel that way sometimes. The key is to take the time to work through these feelings of low self-esteem.

It might not be low self-esteem

Maybe you don’t even have a poor self-image! Perhaps, you’re what we call a human being. Everybody has days when they don’t like themselves, when they wish they didn’t act a certain way or didn’t put their foot in their mouth — it’s normal. If you didn’t make mistakes, you’d be a robot. Human beings are always learning, and emotional awareness is a part of that journey of self-knowledge. If you don’t know what makes you tick, you’re not going to be able to relate to others well. You need to understand you so you can have the best interpersonal relationships. People who don’t know themselves often blame others for their problems. It starts with you, and placing the blame on someone else for your feelings isn’t going to help you grow. It’s essential to work on getting to know yourself in therapy, and owning how you feel and your actions.

Understanding yourself

To get to a place of self-love, it starts with sitting with your emotions and talking about them. Let these feelings out in therapy. A trained therapist or counselor can help you better understand yourself and grow emotionally. Whether you’re working with a therapist in your local area or an online counselor, these are feelings worth discussing. Your therapist can help you work through them and gain confidence in yourself.

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