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Stop Complaining! What’s Solution-Focused Therapy?


I have a problem. What do I do?

When you have a problem you can’t seem to solve, it’s hard to stop thinking about it. You may feel like obsessing is going to fix the issue, when in reality, fixating on the issue doesn’t do much toward finding a solution. When problems arise, after we’ve thought about them to the point of rumination, we may start “venting” to our friends. Let’s be honest, “venting” is a euphemism for complaining. Life isn’t easy and to take it a step further, it’s just plain difficult. Life doesn’t care that you’re having a bad day and it’s unconcerned about your feelings when it throws you curveballs. You’re expected to have it together even when you’re falling apart. It doesn’t seem fair, but then again life isn’t just, so that’s why people complain. There’s an answer to your problems and you’re going to find it in solution-focused therapy.

Stop whining and complaining and get real!

Instead of venting, what if I told you there was a way to solve your problems? There is, and it’s called solution focused therapy. People often associate going to a therapist with a place you go to talk about your issues, gain emotional insight, and work through traumatic experiences. These are all valid reasons to seek mental health treatment; however, they’re not the only reasons to seek help. Therapy is a place to brainstorm solutions for your problems, and an excellent therapist can help you figure out ways to cope with those issues. If all we did was complain, we would never get anywhere. And we would feel miserable and most human beings don’t want to feel bad intentionally, they want to get better.

Brainstorming solutions

The way to get the best outcome is to brainstorm a solution to your problem even if the issue doesn’t seem like it can be solved. It’s exhausting to walk around feeling like your life is complicated or brutal. You might feel like nobody cares and you’re misunderstood. But when you work with a solution-focused therapy, they can see what you can’t. They’re there to look at your problems with an objective set of eyes because they don’t know the people involved. They’re not jaded by previous interactions with you or what you’ve been through in the past. Your therapist can look at things from a bird’s-eye view. Seeing the whole picture is the goal of working with solution-focused therapy and that way they can help you step outside your problems and come to a solution.

Personal bias

Like any competent mental health professional, a solution-focused therapist doesn’t have a personal bias towards the people in your life, because they’re objective. They don’t know the individuals involved in your problems so they’re able to brainstorm in a way where they can see all sides of things. Whether you like it or not, your friends have a bias and will give you advice based upon their history with you and the person involved in the conflict, whether that’s a friend or a romantic partner. If they’re familiar with the characters involved, they can make assessments on what will work knowing the psychological profiles of who is causing you distress. But other times having your friends give you advice on your problems doesn’t work so well. The reason is because they are biased and the goal of a good therapist is to be unbiased.

Solve your problems in therapy now

Whether you’re working with a therapist in your local area or online, consider working with a solution-focused clinician. They are the people who will help you directly solve your problems, and you won’t feel like you’re just sitting there complaining.

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