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To My Parents Who Support Me Through My Mental Illness Recovery

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Mom and Dad,

That day I told you I couldn’t get out of bed to even shower, let alone go to class or work, was one of the scariest days of my life. I knew you were going to support me and understand, but as I walked though that door, it was the most emotion I had felt in about two months. The fear, anger and anxiety that was taking me over was almost too much. I had known from the very beginning that I had the most wonderful parents who put their children first even though they didn’t have much. My brother and I never went without, even though we knew our family struggled from time to time. I want to thank you both for showing me and encouraging me to be the best I can be, even through the hard times. There is and never was a time when I doubted the love you gave me. Even in my lowest of lows.

During that time after I was first diagnosed, I once couldn’t leave my apartment because I had a breakdown for forgetting to brush my hair. I thought to myself, This is pathetic, but I literally can’t get myself off the bathroom floor. The day before, I had told myself I was going to go to class, that tomorrow would be the day I got myself outside. I called you, Momma, and said through muffled tears and words that I was sobbing on my bathroom floor and couldn’t get up. You stayed on the phone with me, even though you were needed in your classroom, until I finally calmed down an hour later. I told you to go back to class, and that I was going to take a nap. Dad called me about 10 minutes later, and told me he loved me and supported me. Those words were so little, but they meant so much to me while I was in that state. I needed you both so much, and you were there. You weren’t afraid of me, and I could tell that you were worried, but tried your very best not to show it. That’s just one of the many examples of your unconditional love, your understanding and your support for me. I just want to say thank you for loving me so much and continually being my biggest advocates in this wonderfully crazy journey.

With love,

Your Addie

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Unsplash photo via I’m Priscilla.

Originally published: May 22, 2017
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