mentalthealthmatters

I am 23 years old and I have been dealing with depression for a long time, but it’s only been the past 2 years or so that I truly feel it. When I say that, I mean I knew I was sad a lot of the time when I was younger but now that I am older, I feel it much more. I started to truly feel how unhappy I was when I got pregnant with my daughter. I automatically blamed the pregnancy, failing to recognize that I have felt like this for much longer than just when I was pregnant. My daughter is now almost 2 years old, and I am still depressed. I was not able to bond with her the first year because part of me blamed her. That made me feel so awful and so weak to literally blame my child for how I felt. I was just looking for an answer as to why I felt this way.
I have tried many medications that do not work. I have tried things like journaling, being self aware, trying positive reinforcement, and it feels as though nothing works. I am an avid gym-goer; I typically go 5 days a week. This used to be my happiness, but now not even this works as well as it used to. It makes it even harder when you no longer love what you used to. I felt lost within myself because I couldn’t even find one thing I liked anymore.
Depression is HARD and it is something that can be covered up so well. We walk around with a smile on our face, go to the gym, play with the kids, do what we can for everyone else, that by the end of the day, we collapse. I have recently realized that it is imperative to take time for myself and find at least one thing that puts me ar ease to make it through my day. It’s hard to take time for yourself when you have a busy life but it is something that must be done so you don’t burn out. Looking for answers will not help you, it will only cause you to dwell on things you cannot change. Change the things you can amd do it one step at a time.
Do not give up and do not let it win. You are stronger than you think and depression will not beat you. This shit is not fun and it is not something to push to the side. Ask for help, be there for yourself, and never let anyone make you feel guilty for doing what you need to do for yourself before you take care of someone else. Be strong, be brave, be calm. Asking for help doesn’t make you weak, it makes you so powerful to be able to recognize when it’s time you can’t do it on your own.

Keep going!