A Chart to Help Others Understand What Living With Migraines Is Really Like
Living with migraines means you get really good at hiding pain—until you can’t.
You learn to smile through the ache. You learn which lights to avoid, which smells to brace for, which words to say when people ask, “Are you okay?”
But most people still don’t really understand. They think migraines are just a bad headache. They don’t see the light sensitivity, the nausea, the days you spend in a dark room just trying to breathe through it. They don’t see the guilt. Or the isolation. Or how much you cancel—not because you want to but because you physically can’t show up.
If you’ve ever wished there were an easier way to help others understand what migraines actually feel like, this chart is for you.
| What People Think | What It’s Actually Like |
|---|---|
| “Just a bad headache” | A full-body neurological storm that hijacks your senses |
| “You’ll feel better after a nap” | Sleep can help, but sometimes it’s impossible to fall asleep through the pain |
| “You’re being dramatic” | I’ve had to hide vomiting in public bathrooms just to keep functioning |
| “Just take Advil!” | Most over-the-counter meds barely touch it—and timing is everything |
| “You cancel plans a lot” | Because lights, sounds, and smells outside my control can take me out |
| “You look fine though” | Because I’ve practiced looking okay while I’m falling apart inside |
| “You should try essential oils/yoga” | I’ve tried everything. |
| “At least it’s not every day” | It is for some of us. Or it feels like it could strike at any moment |
| “Just power through” | I’ve powered through enough to know: doing that can make it way worse |
Living With Migraines Means…
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Learning to cancel with grace, even when you’re heartbroken to miss something
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Stockpiling medications, eye masks, and ice packs like it’s a personal apocalypse kit
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Getting scared to open the blinds because the light might physically hurt
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Feeling guilt for being “unreliable,” even though your body is doing its best
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Building backup plans for backup plans because migraines don’t care about your schedule
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Crying—not from pain—but from the isolation and invisibility
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Dealing with people who say, “I get migraines too,” but clearly don’t
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Pretending to laugh at fluorescent-lit meetings when your skull feels like it’s splitting
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Having your pain minimized again and again
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Living with a condition that’s misunderstood even by some doctors
A Few Things People With Migraines Wish You Knew
- It’s not “just a headache.” Migraines are a complex neurological condition that can cause pain, nausea, vision loss, speech issues, and more.
- Triggers vary—and they’re not always avoidable. Some people are triggered by weather, hormones, food, or even smells. And no, we can’t just “control it with water.”
- It’s not the same every time. Some migraines creep up slowly. Some hit like lightning. Some last an hour. Others last for days.
- We’re not faking, lazy, or flaky. We want to show up. But sometimes our bodies literally won’t let us.
- We’ve probably tried everything. Meds, food logs, supplements, acupuncture, quitting caffeine, drinking more water—trust that we are trying.
- Validation goes a long way. You don’t need to fix it. Just believe us. Sit with us. Ask what helps. That’s more powerful than you know.
If You Love Someone With Migraines
Here are a few kind, real-life ways to show support:
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Ask them what their migraine looks like—everyone’s is different
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Offer flexibility instead of pressure
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Keep the lights low, the noise down, and the judgment quieter
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Offer to help with things they’ve missed, guilt-free
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Be the friend who says, “I believe you,” even if you don’t totally understand
You’re Not Alone, Even When It Feels Like You Are
If you live with migraines, you’ve probably been misunderstood a thousand times. But that doesn’t make your experience any less valid.
This chart isn’t here to make others feel bad—it’s here to help them understand. And it’s here to help you feel seen, especially on the days when you’re fighting pain and disbelief.
You are not dramatic. You are not a burden. You are doing something incredibly hard—and you deserve support, understanding, and light (the metaphorical kind, not the fluorescent kind).