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Dear Mom: These Are the Words I Don't Say Enough

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Dear Mom,

I always think it, but I never say it: Thank you.

Thank you for taking me to all of my doctor appointments, and for being my voice when I feel like I don’t have one. You are my biggest advocate, and without you, I wouldn’t be getting the treatments I am today, let alone have a diagnosis.

Thank you for sleeping on the tiny, uncomfortable bed next to me in the hospital for countless nights. I haven’t gone one night alone.

mother and daughter smiling

Thank you for speaking up for me when a doctor put my symptoms down to anxiety, and for always believing me when I say something is wrong. You know how much it gets to me when someone doesn’t believe my symptoms, and you made sure no one would do that.

Thank you pushing for more tests when we knew something more was wrong, and for not stopping until we found the answer.

Thank you for putting my needs before yours. I always tell to you to worry about yourself first, but you don’t listen .

Thank you for being assertive when it comes to my needs. I mean this in a very good way. Without this trait, I would have gotten wrong medications, had to wait months for tests or not gotten treatments I needed.

Thank you for pushing me to do things outside of my comfort zone. When I think I can’t do something, all I have to do is look at you and wait for a certain look to know I can do it. You have taught me to be confident, not cocky, and to be assertive in the right moments.

Thank you for making me feel beautiful despite my tubes and scars. Whenever I try something on that lets one of these show, you say, “It doesn’t matter.” This has helped me get past being afraid of showing any part of my body that I feel uncomfortable with.

Thank you for being there for me in some of my hardest times. You’re the person I can talk to about anything, and without this, I would have to keep every feeling inside me.

mother and daughter in matching t-shirts at a race

Thank you for making me laugh when I’m having a bad day. You always know how to do it, and it really boosts my spirit.

Finally, thank you for loving me unconditionally. No matter what, I know you will always love me and that’s a feeling that can’t be described.

Although I may not say it, know I am always thinking, “Thank you.”

Thank you so, so much.

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Originally published: May 4, 2017
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