How My Boyfriend Shows His Love for Me as I Fight MCTD

Right before things fell apart with my health, I was a stubborn 26-year-old girl. I was ambitious, and career-driven. All I ever wanted was to excel in my field, education. I grew up in an environment when settling for less was a mortal sin. To give your best is to bleed. So, imagine how tragic it was for me to be diagnosed with mixed connective tissue disease (MCTD).

My boyfriend of five years and I started dating when I was totally fine. He would see me work so hard day and night. I would juggle my full-time job as a special education department head during the day and a part-time job of being an online radio station operations manager at night. Apart from that, I had so many other things going on. I love being busy. Sleep was an enemy. Idle moments were never my favorite. Then, MCTD happened in 2014. I had to resign from teaching, and had to drop everything else.

While his career was soaring, I was always in bed. Not that I loved it, but it’s not really much of a choice. I was so insecure and envious of him, and I think we all know what an insecure person is capable of. For one, I tried to eat up much of his time, he stopped hanging out with others and devoted the rest of his time for me. I wanted him to take a break from success, I wanted him to wait for me. I didn’t want others to say that I’m no good for him. I wanted so many things that I didn’t notice I was being selfish. But despite all the trouble I’ve caused him, he never left me nor did he gave up on me.

He would always try to understand, he would always say it’s my sickness eating me up inside. He was always positive I’d get better and I would get back on track. He would always tell me that even if I don’t reach my initial goals in life, he would always be proud of me. While I thought these were just words, being together until now proves that these are beyond words spoken from the lips. They have all been from the heart.

I started to change. From being so negative, depressed, and anxious. I started to find my way out of the dark tunnel. At present, I got a new job as a receptionist in a development center. I pursued my childhood passion which is visual and installation arts. I’m trying to do open mics in high hopes that I can do singing stints. I’ve learned to live a laid back kind of life and be happy and fulfilled.

I think this is love. In my eyes, his love is by far one of the greatest gifts in my life. His ability to endure, his ability to enlighten my heavy heart — not a lot of people can do that. I know my destiny is in my hands. But his love is that push I needed, that knock in the head that changed my perspective.

I may not be as busy as a bee as I was before, but at least now I get to live happily. Indeed, love has mysterious powers that drives all negative and ugly forces away. It becomes a beacon of hope for the hopeless. I never really thought someone would still be around after all the trouble I’ve caused. But he has proven me wrong. Love does conquer all.

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