i’ve recently started to return to bad anxiety days starting with early mornings and tears. this has been the worst year of my life and life shows no sign of slowing down. i’m terrified all the time of what people think of me, since not i am almost unfamiliar to them. they see this bright girl they once knew, and inside it feels dark, heavy and depressing. my mind is in a constant state of fog; i have temporarily misplaced my ability to conquer all with a smile. i have descended into a different part of life and i feel like i have no road map and barely anyone sees how hard this is for me. i don’t want to be strong anymore. i’ve been strong my whole life. i’m tired of faking it till i make it. i’m tired of crying so much in secret. very few in my life understand what it feels like to change into someone who feels weaker than your previous self. i am in mourning of her. i miss my ability to shine in any moment. i feel like a dark dingy version of a once vibrant woman. in order to make the necessary changes, it means i have to make many scary changes, which i’m not necessarily up for, but i can’t keep living like this. i’ve already started to make some very important changes, and i hope i can begin to take back my life from anxiety. #mourningmyself #morninganxiety #Sadness