Sadness

#Toughlove #Anxiety #Sadness #Children

I felt bad for calling my brother an asshole, but I said it because he told me that hitting kids makes them stronger and more disciplined. That kind of thinking is really concerning, and honestly, I’m embarrassed that he thinks that way.

I told him that if he ever did that to his child, I’d be the first to report him.

Instead of realizing he was wrong, he turned it around and made it seem like I was the bad one—rude and unstable—just because I called him an asshole. I apologized for that, but I don’t think he’d ever consider getting help for thinking that way about kids.

I asked him why he thinks that way, but he didn’t respond. Every time I tried to talk about the issue, he twisted the conversation back to what I said about him. I told him that his views were very concerning, but he didn’t reply to me, just kept twisting things.

He even threatened to cut all ties with me, even though I’m his sister, which made me incredibly sad. I’ve always been there for him, I’ve helped him a lot, and now, because of one single mistake, he’s willing to cut me out of his life. It’s heartbreaking.

I have anxiety and panic disorder, and unfortunately, some people use that against me. They dismiss my words, bury them in the deepest corner of their minds, and strip them of any value—because to them, anything said by someone with a mental health issue doesn’t count. It’s sad to see that kind of ignorance, knowing they use this information to undermine what I say instead of actually listening.

I apologized to him, and I told him that no matter how mad he is at me, I’ll always be by his side and he can count on me.

He’s still mad, and I still feel bad. I know I was rude, but it’s sad and disappointing that he won’t admit he was wrong too.

Hello! Happy New Year. 2025 is almost here, and I am just thinking of it as another day on the calendar. 🗓️ I never saw it as something largely significant to celebrate, 🥂🥳 but I understand those who do.

What does #2025 mean to you?

#chaos
#Anxiety
#MentalHealth
#smile
#Sadness
#Mixedemotions

#questions #Pain #Rejection #Heartache #Lonliness #Family #outcast #unfamiliar

I'm wondering what the f*** happened to my once close nit family unit. Despite the traumatic events that resulted in my BPD I believe I had a good childhood and a great loving supportive family.my father had NPD and my mother was extremely antisocial but they were high functioning as far as raising kids owning a house and working full-time. My mother was loving compassionate supportive and so caring when it came to us kids she would spend all her free time spending time with us while my brother was at home He's 8 years older and he left when I was 9 for college.I can remember doing things as a family all the time playing badminton going swimming riding mountain bike going on family vacations shopping spree road trips on our birthdays My brother coming home for Christmas and us doing traditional European Christmas Eve celebration.We would watch TGIF cable television every Friday as a family and Saturday night board games and then Sunday night special dinners on top of the six other days a week we had family dinners together.If there was something happening at my school like children performances for Christmas my mom was always there she never missed a thing except for bring your parent to school day. I grew up having my mom read me bedtime stories and give me a hug before bed and saying good night I love you in our language which is "dobre notz" forgive my spelling.I was ostracized by our whole entire town because I never got socialized in having no family and parents without friends with kids nobody taught me any of the social skills I needed to know to be able to not be targeted.So needless to say growing up my very best friend was always my mother.After the age of five there was nothing that I was afraid to tell my mother I could always tell her the truth no matter how bad how painful except for things that make me cry oh she would get mad when I cried.At 14 One day she calmly just asked me if I have had sex yet and do I need birth control should we make a doctor's appointment.I found that to be a little odd as I had no friends barely made it to school and hardly left the house but I had no problems answering the question.Every Time I got a new boyfriend and I was crazy in love and he was the one My mom was the one I could talk to about it.She was also the one who would keep my secrets like every time I got pregnant and didn't want to tell my dad.She was 99% of the time my biggest support system.My father and I had a very surface level relationship growing up I can remember him providing for me and watching movies with me but that's about it. we didn't become closer until I was around the age of 16 and even then it was quite a volatile relationship with his narcissistic personality disorder and my free spirited BPD disorder "Imma do what I want to do and you can't do nothing about it" attitude.As a family unit me my mom and my dad and my kids were incredibly close we even lived in the same apartment building one floor apart. we'd have dinner together every single night My mom would come with me to every school event for 2 of 3 of my kids lives.She was the one to stay with me at the hospital when I was having each child.If I or the kids got sick she was right there taking care of us.Sadly just over 2 years ago on May 2nd My father passed away of a heart attack.

FROM THAT MOMENT ON I HAVE NO CLUE WHO MY MOTHER IS OR WHY SHE CHANGED. SHE IS COLD APATHETIC DISTANT AND CAN BE QUITE MEAN. FOR EXAMPLE AT THE BEGINNING OF OCTOBER I LET MY MOM KNOW THAT SOMETHING AWFUL HAPPENED TO MY CHILDREN AND I AND THAT NO WE WERE NOT DOING OKAY BECAUSE OF IT. SHE HAD NOTHING TO SAY AFTER I TOLD HER AND THEN WHEN I SAID I'D LIKE HER TO BE AROUND MORE SHE SAID "DON'T CONTACT ME TILL HALLOWEEN YOUR BROTHER'S COMING FOR THANKSGIVING I DON'T WANT TO BE BOTHERED" ONCE AGAIN FAMILY HOLIDAY COMES UP BUT ME AND THE CHILDREN ARE NOT INVITED. DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY INSIGHT THAT THEY CAN SHARE WITH ME AS TO WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO THE WOMAN WALKING AROUND IN MY MOM'S BODY THAT IS NOT THE PERSON I'VE KNOWN FOR 40 YEARS?? THE ONLY REASON SHE EVEN SPEAKS TO ME IS BECAUSE I KNOW SHE'S GETTING UP THERE IN AGE AND I CHECK ON HER EVERY SINGLE SATURDAY BUT SINCE THE DAY MY FATHER DIED SHE'S NEVER ONCE PICKED UP THE PHONE TO CALL ME. FAMILY DINNERS STOPPED HOLIDAYS TOGETHER STOPPED SHOPPING TOGETHER STOPPED CAR RIDES TOGETHER STOPPED ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING THAT ME AND MY CHILDREN GREW UP WITH JUST STOPPED. OUR ENTIRE FAMILY CONSISTS OF MY THREE CHILDREN ME MY MOM AND MY BROTHER THAT'S HOW SMALL OUR FAMILY IS. SO WHY DOES MY MOTHER ONLY VALUE MY BROTHER IS A FAMILY MEMBER AND HAS COMPLETELY DISCONNECTED AND DISTANCED HERSELF FOR ME AND THE CHILDREN THAT SHE HELPED RAISE? SHE'S ALWAYS BEEN WONDERFUL WITH CHILDREN INCLUDING HAVING ONE WITH BPD WHO WOULD HAVE TO MAKE THE PHONE CALL ONCE I WAS AN ADULT HEY MOM I'M IN JAIL AND SHE WOULD HANDLE IT LIKE IT WAS NOTHING NEVER GET UPSET ALWAYS BE SUPPORTIVE AND TAUGHT ME THAT FAMILY STICKS TOGETHER NO MATTER WHAT. SO WHAT COULD HAVE HAPPENED TO CAUSE SUCH A DRASTIC DRAMATIC CHANGE IN HOW MY MOTHER FEELS ABOUT ME AND MY CHILDREN??#Rejection #isolated #Lonliness #Family #Pain #Sadness

Have you ever needed a #Laugh at something that you know you cannot #change ? This made me laugh so much and at the same time, I saw how truthful it was to think if someone were to enter into my #dreams they would not be able to #DealWithIt at all. Each #Battle is different from one another. What #Hurts me a lot may be a like eating cotton candy to another.

Be #Kind today. #Share some #Laughs and #Joy amidst the #Sadness and the #Emotions that tear at you. Do not let the #Fear or #Anxiety control you. See it like a passing cloud. I see you there, but I am not going to engage with it even if I feel it!

#BipolarDisorder
#Depression
#Anxiety
#MentalHealth
#Agoraphobia
#PanicDisorder

#Truth #PTSD #Sadness