Sadness

Hi I just prayed to a lady I met online , I am not sure what lead me to it aside from sadness that she has made a life while we chatted and no longer needs me to chat which all it was but it was every night for 2 years before it slowed down then a few times a week for 3 more years I thought we were going to met an have a child because she asked if I was interested and I was , but two weeks ago I found out she had a child while we were chatting around the two year mark when the chatting slowed down . I today told her I was going to start talking to other people because she seems to busy and don’t seem into me and like an hour later she posted a video having sex asking how’s the camera angle look on this . Well I told her it looked really good to be with her . And now I’m hurt that the video was a response to my remark of going to start talking to others . I also got to mention that when she asked if I wanted a child o got happy and told her about the trauma in my child hood and it reminded me of things that caused what I think was hyper sexuality and I started to talk about sex and that’s when things went wrong with our chat I just didn’t know she went to do it instead of talk to me about it . I’m so hurt that I did that and idk what to do now . And so a while ago I texted her a prayer 🙏 me praying to her explaining and asking for forgiveness for asking about sex when we chatted because I feel it’s why she went to go do that . I M not sure if all this makes sense but I’m Sorry I regret ruining what she was after with me . I’m emotionally hurt at the moment and idk how to deal with it much less what to do ? Some came here to nark on my stupidity that made me remember because I was happy and comfortable telling her about it so we could know each other it royally failed an I lost her . Am I apologize about the bad punctuation I’m currently studying for a ged and well I’m learning that
Can you help ? Do you know any thoughts words that might help me understand so I can let it go ? I already lost her I just don’t want to stay feeling like I’m missing the love & Heart she made me feel . This is hurtful for me . And I forgot to mention that when I think of sex it catches my attention so I forget about the stuff that hurts me and I think it’s why I did that because I told her everything pretty much and I remembered it all talking about it so I think the hyper sexless me hiding an trying to forget all that stuff I talked about that stayed fresh in my mind after that it ruined me. God I’m so sorry I feel Regret that I told her . #Trauma #PTSD #Depression #PTSD #Sadness #Prayer #disappointment #ADHD #Advice #relationship

I woke up today feeling sad. Logically I know there’s nowhere for me to belong, I’m just stupidly clinging to hope that someday someone might see something worthwhile in me. I know full well it will never happen. Even I don’t feel I’m worthwhile.

It’ll pass. I just have to keep busy with something.

#Depression #Sadness #notworthwhile

Everyone hates me #Sadness #MentalHealth

On the subject of unrequited love, which has haunted me for an eternity, there rests a fine line between those who remain hopeful, waiting for their person, and those who grow tired, awaiting for something, someone who may never come. We are so filled with love to give yet no one to pour into. Our cups shall continue to overflow, however, instead of the comfort that love brings to others, we forever drown in our dying hopes of experiencing a love which may not exist. Not for us atleast. Not for me. And in the end, one's fleeting desire to be seen, to be chosen, to be loved, shall be the reason our cups break, leaving us all the more broken and hopeless. How does one live a life absent of the one thing they crave so hopelessly. Perhaps time will narrate a different story, one filled with the love we are yet to receive. Until then, we remain prisoners of our own hearts, haunted by that which we see others experience so effortlessly, yet strong enough to endure that which we are burdened by - the heart of a hopeless romantic.

#unrequitedlove #Loneliness #heartbreak #Sadness

beyonddeaf-inition.blogspot.com/2025/03/rip.html

#Loss #Sadness #Animals

I survived a few days of work. I've had the test results and nothing too bad there although I definitely have the condition. I'm on a new medication to help it. I'll just add that to the cocktail haha.

I only wish I could get your replies, thoughts, advice and prayers.

I'll always love and miss you. I never contemplated anything but a long life for us all.

#Grief #Sadness #Loss #Stroke

I've got a migraine again. And horrible brain fog. I am pretty sure it's because I haven't eaten yet. My partner is asleep so I just gotta entertain myself. I took 2 tramadol about a half hour ago. None of my friends are available for chatting. I feel very lonely.

#Depression #Sadness #ChronicPain

Are certain things unforgivable? Mind you I am writing from a place of sheer pain and not of sound mind… I think it’s up to every person to choose if they want to forgive and to do it on their own terms. Meaning from afar if necessary. I forgive myself for all the lies I believed for years about myself. But I do not wish to live in a fairy tale land where I blindly forgive my abuser and act as if nothing ever happened. There are consequences to offenses and especially to something like this. I renounced Christianity so please don’t talk to me about it. I’m starting to follow Hinduism and I meditate, so Buddhism is also important to me. I think I just need to take a breath. #Pain #Sadness