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When OCD Feels Like a Monster

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1, 2, 3, 4

1, 2, 3, 4

The numbers that used to control my life were 2, 4 and 8. I used to count everything from the number of steps I walked to the times I washed my hands in a day (which used to be around 80 or so!). I’m down from four to two showers a day.

OCD has felt like a monster inside me.

It can be a scary disorder. The monster of OCD can only be understood by the ones the OCD monster has attacked. I sometimes feel as though I was cursed with this disorder. But I’m overcoming and fighting my monster.

OCD is not only the compulsions and actions. It’s obsessive thoughts, too. I used to wake up in the middle of the night and open and close the drawers. I would clean all day obsessively.

“So what changed?” you may be thinking.

I now practice intense thinking. I’ve slowly exposed my self to my fears such as touching door knobs and shaking people’s hands with my bare skin. The OCD monster does still creep up on me from time to time, but I’ve learned to put a leash on it. OCD could have ruined my life, but I’ve taken control back, and you can too.

Take back your reign, and most of all take back your freedom. You can do this, you are a fighter, you are strong and you are a warrior.

Originally published: August 9, 2016
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