What I Wish for My Child Who Has to Live With Illness

I wish I had more expertise on what is the best educational
environment for you, but the necessary clarity eludes me.

I wish so much of our time wasn’t consumed by doctor appointments,
therapy visits, discussing test results and fretting over what’s not happening and needs to.

I wish every milestone missed wasn’t yet another reminder of how far you have to go, and all the progress you have made thus far does not go unnoticed.

I wish you were not measured in standard deviations and percentile rankings.

I wish labels and diagnoses did not define you, and for me they do not and never will.

I wish you never feel excluded or segregated, for I see your tremendous efforts to belong.

I wish everything did not have to be so difficult for you, though I am fortunate that being happy is one of your greatest and most precious strengths.

I wish others could see beyond your weaknesses and struggles, for I
envision endless possibilities and a very happy, fulfilling life for you.

I wish I could be a better mother and be there for both of my daughters 24/7 and not inevitably disappoint one, while trying the best I can to care for the other.

I wish I heard my husband’s light-hearted laughter more often, I
catch glimpses of it’s carefree tune just enough to remind me of what I miss.

I wish I did not have to rely so heavily upon others, but I am truly grateful for the unending support of my parents and others.

I wish I did not have to worry so much about your future, but every decision seems so intricately linked to how best to prepare you.

I wish I could clearly see the path forward to some semblance of
future independence for you, but I can’t and it frightens me.

I wish everyone shared my vision for you, for it is bright and you will shine.