Meeting My Children's 'Special' Needs Is Not What Makes Me a 'Special' Mom
I am a mother to three beautiful children; two of them have an assortment of additional or “special” needs. I sometimes feel like I’m treated differently because of this. Some people think I’m special in some sort of supermom-type way. Some others think I’m special because I have to “deal” with a lot. I hear “I don’t know how you do it” quite a bit.
You don’t need to look far to see that the kids’ additional needs adds pressure to our lives. I question my abilities on a fairly regular basis. I know missing a weekly ballet lesson is not the same as missing the therapy appointment you’ve had lined up for six months. Then there’s the smaller things that can have a daily impact, such as handing our sons the wrong color popsicle or the overload that happens at the shopping mall. The concerns about the future for our children can seem overwhelming. But coping (or not, as it feels sometimes) with these things aren’t what makes me special to my kids.
Nor am I special because I’ve learned sign language so I can communicate with my children or spent hours so I can recite my all the characters from their favorite television show.
I bought a card for my mom that said “To a special mom” on several occasions. My mom is amazing, a one-of-a-kind woman who showers me in the kind of love and care that only my mother can. And that makes her special.
To my kids, I’m not special because I try and meet their special needs. I’m special just because I’m their mom.
I am mom before therapist, mom before dietician and mom before engineer. And although these roles are currently an integral part of my job as their mom, I’ll still be their special mom when these roles change. I’ll always look out for them, support them, fight for them, celebrate their achievements, comfort their sorrows and love them unconditionally like no one else can. Just like my mom did.
So to my special mom who taught me what the phrase means and to all the other special moms out there, thank you, and (although a little early) Happy Mother’s Day.
Follow this mom and her family on Rainbows Are Too Beautiful.
The Mighty is asking the following: What’s one thing you want to make sure the special needs mom in your life knows? *If you are the special needs mom, challenge a loved one to respond to this! If you’d like to participate, please send a blog post to community@themighty.com. Please include a photo for the piece, a photo of yourself and 1-2 sentence bio. Check out our Submit a Story page for more about our submission guidelines.
Ann is a full-time mom and part-time college teacher who writes at Rainbows Are Too Beautiful. There, she shares her positive thoughts, ideas and experiences of life with her kids with and without autism. Her son Anthony says, “Rainbows are too beautiful, I just can’t look at them,” and Ann feels this is a shining example of how her family experiences the world differently.
ann-h